a web of lies and deceit

What the....?

2008-01-04T14:41:00.000-05:00

Dude...

That's the Hoff... Peeking in your window. What kinda Christmas is this?

Oh wait... what's that he's got in his hand?

A present? For you?!?! Let me help you with it... OH LOOK. A BOOK!

If you're a writer - go get:

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT - a history of American Screenwriting - by Marc Norman.

Do you wonder why things are the way they are?
How things got to be the way they be?

Read this book.

It starts at the very beginning and gives a perfect historical context to everything to do with movie writing. And context is only seen once you have perspective and perspective comes for distance. But the amazing thing with this book is that it really helps.

I remember going through the studio tour - two weeks of three to four meetings a day about weird projects and the way I was put to the fire now totally makes sense.

To understand why the studios deal with writers the way they do... just for that insight alone - the book is worth it.

The amazing thing - nothing has changed. Just like in Barton Fink. They want the same thing. For us to do what they want. Now. With as little voice in it as possible. Like everything - they want to take someone with a unique voice and way of doing things and see if they can fit into the studio mold.

Its amazing. And you get to see it again and again - played out across the entire history of Hollywood.

And the Guild. The strikes. How we got into the mess we're in now.

This book is genius. It really helps. You should read it.

Peace....

Not to make excuses....

2007-12-28T14:43:00.000-05:00

But there's always a reason why... Even if you don't wanna know...

Don't let the Bastards get you Down

2007-10-20T20:30:00.000-04:00

Every Deer has his day.

Small comfort - but sometimes that's all we need.

I'm looking down the barrel of one more week.

Till then - I'm keeping my hooves sharpened....

Good Luck

2007-10-14T20:51:00.000-04:00

I know I'm not as prolific here.

But I'm doing something. Something I only do when I have nothing else I could possibly do.

Writing.

Go figure.

Not that I want to jinx it yet. Its quite small and embryonic... but it is writing nonetheless. Might not be carried to full term - but its definately there. You can see it on the ultrasound...

My greatest enemies in the way of neglecting my new child?

Radiohead's new CD.
Why is it that this band is always insanely interesting? Even when they put out stuff that I don't listen to as much - I constantly find myself returning time and again to their albums - and they all stand up. Different moods, different sounds... but the new one. Wow. I can't stop. Its beautiful. Transcendant. Makes you wanna open the curtains and smile at the sun. Or the grey. How many times can you say that about a Radiohead CD... Competes for me with Kanye as one the years best.

Prison Break
I didn't watch the show before. Most in the States sort of blew it off as a second rate 24... but now that 24 is the new second rate 24... I decided to give the show a shot. Its so big here in China that they actually shot their own version of it. Even though I think it lacks in a lot of logic and the writing is just not that great... its still quite addictive. The pleasure of a TV show for me is that its like coming home to an old friend. There are a lot of episodes and the story keeps going and you can feel like you're catching up. Even if it is in a prison and people are trying to rape you. Anally... Wait... maybe its just cause it reminds me of work...

Elmore Leonard and F Paul Wilson
Finished up Riding the Rap and City Primevil by Leonard. Man that guy can write. Twisty. Stories just branch and characters that you love. No wonder Tarrantino loves the guy - he owes him a huge debt. Anyone wanting to make great characters who talk well can stand to go to the school of Leonard. I feel like a boy in short pants with his ear to the wall trying to steal scraps from the masters table. Wilson writes a different type of story - but one I like equally as well. Word is they are finally making a film of his best character- Repairman Jack. Just finished up Harbingers and Legacies and now breaking into Hosts.

Facebook
My "buddy" Shawn sucked me in. Why? This is a nasty cult and a great way to actually blame your friends for wasting your time. While its nice to share one lines with people you haven't seen if forever - its also a black hole of time. But you do get to play the sweet old lady... look at this picture of my kids....

Sigh..

No more blogging. Back to doing what I should be doing.

Writing.

Peace.

My name is John Daker

2007-10-10T21:43:00.000-04:00

Thanks to my future brother in law for this...

Back in China. And since I'm blogging - that must mean I'm avoiding real writing.

Looks to be an interesting week. My show is blowing up over here. Up 70% last week - so people are happy. We are going out on more stations now - we hit four new stations this week.

Yesterday when we were doing some editing - the machine literally blew up. Like in a cartoon. Smoke starting pouring out of it and we ran out of the room.

It was that hot... :)

Met with my production team. Went over what I need for my November shoot. Looks like we're going to head down to Southern China for a little location scout before I go. Should be interesting. We need to shoot someplace warm to get outside - and southern China is it. Cause its already getting stinking cold here in Beijing.

Heading down to Shanghai next week for more meetings. This trip is actually going to involve some travel. Go figure...

And here's a funny thing. After freezing my ass off the first day back... I found out the the heat in my apartment only works from 10 at night till 6 in the morning. That's it. So that's what you get for the huge rent here in China...

Took my PS2 in to get modded out. Looks like it blew up. Gonna see if they can fix it today.

Lots going down... it should be a fun ride. And I might even get some writing done... :) Here's hoping....

Strange days...

2007-10-06T19:37:00.000-04:00

It's Saturday.

Sunday already in China... :)

Was up all night. Went to the movies last night with Shawn. Saw 3:10 to Yuma. Loved it. Great performances all the way through. Really fun and good movie. The end is a little questionable to me - but otherwise, I liked it a lot.

Got back and immediately emailed the producer. Said that one actor from the film would be great in our film. We had previously talked about this kid - but were on the fence about him - but I got more and more excited about him and wanted to get him the script.

Stayed up most of the night. Watched the documentary "Dig!" which was pretty good.

Took the kids on a two hour bike ride today. First time the boy has ever been out on the big streets. He's on his new birthday bike. He did great... we have some big hills here and getting up them with one speed is tricky - but he did good. At one point he did, however, cut me off. I only have front brakes right now that work - and I went head over handlbars... flipped my chain off - and struggled to get it back on and catch up with them.

But it was nice. Almost dying in front of the kids...

Afterwards, I crashed. Hard. Woke up at dinner.

And my producer had already contacted the manager of the actor.
And the manager had already responded.
Not that he said yes. Far from it.

But he responded. And anyone who deals with Hollywood knows - that sometimes, just getting a response is the greatest feeling of all. Even if its no. At least you can keep going.

And in this case it wasn't no. Or if it was - it was just so freaking polite, I couldn't tell it was a no.

It was a... thanks so much for thinking of us. We went from 14 years of waiting for a break to getting 4 offers a day. We will read the script - but we have so much on the plate in front of us now - its hard to look at something that isn't fully financed - but will be happy read it and get back to you soon.

See?

It's a nice "not right now..." and a reply on Saturday nonetheless...

How pitiful is it that I get excited about a "not right now?!?"

Sigh.

I've gotta write more. Starting now...

I know what's coming

2007-10-05T06:47:00.000-04:00

Remember Seasame Street?

The chef at the top of the stairs? Announcing something like:

13 banana cream pies!

And then falling all the way down?

This is my week home. I've filled it as best I can with bike rides, wii sessions, Avatar cartoon parties, homework help, long walks.... trying my best to be a dad in one week a month. Doesn't quite cut it.

This morning - our little school here in Indiana does Dads and Donuts. All the dads come to school with the kids a half hour early and hang out and eat donuts. Pretty cool. My kids have been so excited that I'm actually here. Last year, I was in China. Year before that, I was in Virginia producing a series.

This year - I get to make it.

I can't believe it's Friday already and I have to start thinking of going back East.

Far East.

Lots to accomplish this trip. Mostly setting up for a shoot in November. But a lot of travel and location scouting and budget meetings. All the things I normally love.

The movie is sort of stalling here. We have offers to different people who are more or less in the middle of their careers. Opened a few films as leads - done really big films as the second lead - but for some reason are at the point where they feel they can wait for more money on the table before even reading the script.

We have two companies reading the script again who previously bid for it to see if they want to actually get behind the project again so we have real money going into the offers. Still feels like its moving - but momentum is everything.

Spent a bit of time with Ryan. Had a lead on a script that was taking pitches - and we spent two days cranking one out. It turned out pretty well - nothing earth shattering - but nothing to be ashamed of either. It follows the beats of that type of story with a few nice twists and a cool setting. Who knows if it takes - but for a couple days work - it was nice. Was one again reminded how nice it is to write with a partner. Doesn't make the work easier - but it does help you to skip all the dead ends and nonsense much quicker.

Hung out with the extended family last night. We watched Survivor China. Never watched a whole episode of Survivor before...but it was mildly amusing. We all watched because Jean Robert - the poker player - went to High School with my sister and I in Taiwan. He was in her class. I was sure he was gonna be kicked out last night - but he survived. But doesn't look like he's long for this world.

More notes on the new script. More Elmore Leonard books read this week. More thinking and plotting about what the future might look like.

And I truthfully have no clue...

But I know what's coming... and the fall looks painful.

Hanging by a fingertip

2007-09-26T08:20:00.000-04:00

My time is almost up.

I don't wanna say this trip has been tough - cause its a lot like all the other trips... but something happens the last week where all I think about is being at home.

I watched Knocked Up over the weekened again and got all teared up. When they sang that song at the end of the film over the montage of the couple and their new baby girl - I was weeping.

I'm such a nancy.

But it's Wednesday night - and that means I only have two more days. So that's good.

But I gotta come back next month. That's bad.

And every time I leave Beijing - something cool happens. Last time, my assistant Star got married. And Nine Inch Nails and Public Enemy came. This time, Talib Kweli and Ozomalti will both play... while I'm gone.

But I might fly down to Shanghai to watch a preseason NBA game between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Orlando Magic. Maybe.

On the movie.

More names being bandied about and more offers about to go out.

On the funny tip - the big name star who we waited two years for his schedule to clear before he finally dropped out of the film has just changed representation again.

Yup. He's now at my agency.

And the very same agents who kept telling me what a douchebag he was and how I shouldn't work with him or his agent wrote me this week telling me how we should all sit down and have a meeting and talk about the film again.

Yup. His AGENT is also at my agency.

Just a reminder that everything is a full circle in Hollywood.

The highlight of the past couple days was reading an Elmore Leonard novel. Don't know if you read him or not - but I highly recommend his books. When I get back - I'm gonna pick up as many as I can get my hands on.

And on that note - I give you this link:

ELMORE LEONARD'S 10 RULES OF WRITING

Well worth stopping by. A master of dialog and structure.

From another article:

Leonard says he does not know where the story will go when he starts writing. He lets the characters lead. He's not even sure that he's starting at the beginning.
"I have no idea where it's going, I have no idea how it will end. I just start it.
"Sometimes, Chapter 1 will become Chapter 2 or 3; one time it became Chapter 10."

Editors?
Leonard has one, and passed along this piece of dialogue:

She: "I think this one ends rather abruptly."

He: "Well, but, it's over."

She: "Why don't you let it coast a little?"

Leonard said, "So, I'll write three new pages and I'll cross out two."

Holding on for dear life here in Beijing... ready for the long flight home.

Two more days... :)

The Closer

2007-09-18T08:44:00.000-04:00

Doesn't play well with others.

In my case - it's doesn't play well with authority figures.

I blame it all on missionary school. And my dad. Not that I don't get along with him - I get along with him fine. Too well. But watching him with authority figures makes me see how I became what I am.

When people say things like you should only get into this business because you can't do anything else - they are talking about me. Sure - I could fake my way into an organization and pretend for a couple months I was doing OK - but then one day my big mouth would open and that would be the end of it.

Why the heck do you think I'm banished to China?

I do fine as a director. Directors are supposed to be asses.

And the people who work for me generally really like me. I think. They say. As they cower in the corner like a dog that's been beat too much...

But the people above me are more than willing to save the ship from going down by tossing the offending Jonah into the belly of the whale.

Jonah in this case being me.

When I worked at Discovery - I had an argument with my exec producer in the edit suite over a cut in my show. He wanted it changed - and I told him -

"Fine. Change it. But just realize that we're changing it because you're the boss - not because the cut is better."

At which point he kicked me out the suite.

When I got hired on a certain series - I was given tapes of the show before I came in for the interview. The Exec called me in and told me he didn't think I could run the show. He had seen my reel and to be honest - he wasn't impressed.

I sat for a second - wondering why the heck he called me in for the job - and then told him it was probably for the best - since I watched the tapes of his show and thought it was a crappy show anyways - so it would save both of us time.

He yelled and me and kicked me out of his office.

(Only to call me later and offer me the series. How could I say no?)

Another executive producer who I shot a lot of commercials for took to calling me the "big middle finger" because of how I would react to his idiotic notes.

So when I'm in China and stuck with hours of time that I'm trying to avoid writing - I watch TV series.

I just finished Season One of the Closer.

Decent show. Not very realistic - but some really great characters and good writing.

Season finale is all about the lead character getting called to task for the way she treats others. There is an internal affairs complaint against her. Her Boss tells her it will all go away if she meet with the three people she offended and apologizes.

She agrees.

And proceeds to tell them she is sorry that she had to call attention to what a horrible job each of them are doing and she is sorry that she can't put up with their incompetence.

And then she walks.

Sigh.

The big middle finger has a new hero.

Game Time

2007-09-14T21:34:00.000-04:00

Can you pick a winner?

I always grab a handful of reading material to take with me to China.

First - there's the 13 hour flight. Plus the 5-6 hours sitting in the airport for each trip. Then there's the three weeks alone...

Sigh.

Back to the game.

This trip I grabbed a couple magazines - and decided it would be fun to put up a little quiz.

Two of the magazines I brought:

Wired - a technology mag - focusing on the future and trends
Cover Story: Halo 3

XXL - a magazine about Rap culture.
Cover Story: Kanye West

Both are part of my strange life. Are they yours?

Today's game is:

Guess which Letter to the editor came from what magazine. Got it?

Here we go:

(all these are parts of actual letters. No editorializing needed.)

"You've probably already been yelled at by the fanboys with regard to your reference to Optimus Prime's deah. He in fact did not die in the 1986 movie. He was later found in space and returned during the third season of the show. Megatron, however, never returned after the movie - not as Megatron anyway; he was rebuilt as Galvatron."

"...What he needs to do is shut the f*** up and give Buck his mother******* respect and realize that he's the coldest on that whole bull**** label. I hope Buck reads that s*** and slaps the s*** outta that n****...."

"Check out the spine of the 15.07 issue. Upside down, it reads "LO.ST" where the font makes the 1 in 15.07 look like a T. Funny that one of your cover items was Google Maps. Coincidence? I think not!"

"I'm currently locked up in prison, and I got my (magazine name) last night. So when I hit the Eye Candy page with Brianna and I see the sista's body, I'm like, damn! Brianna's a** so thick and fine I wish me and her could get things poppin'."

"Nowhere in your review of walkie-talkies did you mention that higher-powered walkie-talkies require a license to use. If you want real range from a GMRS talkie, forget about all those toys you tested and buy an Icom F21GM."

"If a b**** or a hoe is down the street, you would think he would walk by and downgrade them in a rap, but yet he doesn't. The way he sees it is, just because they are there doesn't mean you have to f*** with them any worse than life is f*****' them over."

Extra Credit:

Match the letter writer's name to the magazine his letter came from:

Milton Lau
Lawrence E. Stoskopf
Hokus
Bigz Lury
Haim Toeg
Cee-God Allah
Dat Dude
Tom Barlow

Good Luck kids!

Turn that frown upside down

2007-09-13T21:02:00.000-04:00

I had such a tough day yesterday.

Just very demoralizing.

Thank God for Skype - and my lovely bride who made some time to listen to me rant and rave.

Feeling a bit better today. Helps that its Friday and I get to come home in two weeks.

And who says rap can't united the world? If this clip doesn't make you smile - your heart is black and full of ice.

Can't touch this...

Fighting for Coherence

2007-09-12T19:47:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was lost in translation.

I showed up at the post house to begin a new edit and waited around most of the day for a group from France to finish the fx on their new car commercial.

Never happened.

I left with the joy of knowing I wasn't the only one who couldn't finish a project in China in the allotted time.

Oh wait... did I say "joy?"... I meant dispair. Easily confused...

All day I had just one thing on my mind:

Who sold more CDs? Kanye or 50?

I mean a lot was at stake. It was 9-11. This is a big day in our nations history - and what better way to commemorate the lives lost then to release rap CDs?

While Kanye has tried to play it off as an exciting event - 50 has gone so far as to say that if Kanye sells more than him - he will give up the mic.

50 - brother man - where would we be without you? If you quit rapping - that means the terrorists have already won!

At least I can take solace in the fact that while we still may be a nation in grief - we can at least drink in the comfort that only sick beats, blazing mc's and mad ho's can offer.

I went out last night to an event.

What? Is this the same Greg who only leaves his apartment for work? The guy who spends every night sitting in front of the TV or computer?

Yes. I went to a reading/lecture at a local bookstore by one of the guys who runs boingboing.net - one of the most widely read blogs in the world. Judging from the packed house - it is obviously read in China as well.

Great guy. Read a new story he wrote for Forbes that was very William Gibson-ish. Then he went on to rail against copywrite law and why it will never work. Only by opening up information can we hope to keep up with people stealing.

He's a great speaker and a really smart guy - and he puts his money where his mouth is as he releases all of his books on the web for free and still makes money selling them in stores. But it kinda felt like being trapped in a room with a really smart guy talking about legalization of drugs... he has lots of good reasons why it would work - mostly by saying all the ways that it doesn't work to stop them.

Not sure how I feel - but I was entertained.

Even stranger - I came home and turned on the Discovery Channel and watched an episode of a show that David and I produced 3 years ago.

Kismet.

Red State

2007-09-11T20:36:00.000-04:00

Back again.

I was only gone a week but it seems like a drug induced dream.

I'm never home enough to change back to normal time - but I am home enough to screw up my sleep patterns really bad. I feel as if I'm sort of walking dead - between two worlds.

I had a great time with the family - but I was dizzy for most of it. Had a lot of things I needed to do - and people I needed to talk to - but couldn't get myself together for any of it.

And before I knew it - Here I am, back in China.

Two or three silly issues with the company last week - but it seems as if they are working out.

Pulled the offer we had out on the young hot music stud after his manager sat on it for over a month. The assistant manager read the script - loved it - and recommended it to the manager. We had a cash offer on the table... and he never read it. So we pulled it.

Sent the script out to two other actors on Monday. One was the sidekick in a big summer franchise film - the other, the lead in a film that no one saw - but was quite good. We will see who responds.

My producer sent me a couple scripts last week that he is attached to. He keeps sending me stuff - and I assumed he wanted me to read them for a second opinion - so I read them as one writer to another. But then he told me that he's always looking for directors - so he wanted me to be reading them as something to consider directing.

That's a whole other ball of wax.

I hit the ground running yesterday.

Went out and bought 20+ movies here last night.

Celebrated with watching the longer, extended cut of Death Proof - the Tarantino portion of Grindhouse.

Can I say that it sucked? I can't imagine watching that at the tail end of another film. I was bored - didn't care - and couldn't believe this was the same guy who did Pulp Fiction. I remember reading an interview with him talking about how he filmed one of the greatest car chases ever done - because if he was going to do it - it better be the best.

Can I say - not. even. close?

I've about shut the book ont his guy. And that's after buying the Japanese boxed set of all his films. I love his writing. His structure. But I can't stand that film. No reason at all to see it.

Sigh.

Well. I guess I should go to work and see what the future holds for me.

Karnival...

2007-09-07T08:04:00.000-04:00

Whee!

I know that this might be silly and slightly embarrassing for an old white guy who can't dance to admit...

But I played Dance Dance Revolution last night - And WOW!

I like video games. A lot. Grew up with them and still enjoy them.

My kids love video games.

We went out to the Winona Lake Indiana version of an arcade last night.

Yeah - I've seen the machine there. Yeah - it's usually occupied by a couple of adolescent girls - monopolizing the machine all night long. Yeah - its a dollar a play - which is probably the reason why I never played it.

But my wife is a piece of work.

She determined that we should try it. And once she sets her head to something....

Anyways. She basically dragged me to the machine. After a few horrendously white moments - I actually was pretty good with it. More than that - I really like it.

If you haven't tried it - you must.

I actually broke a sweat. And at one point - I jumped too hard to the side - and fell off the machine.

I was in such a good mood that I can home and actually read pages by Ryan and wrote some of my own. And they weren't bad.

Only thing bringing me down is that its Friday - and that means that I gotta get back to China on Monday.

Sigh.

But maybe I can find a machine over there in China. Bet it isn't so expensive there...

Trust me on this. You gotta try it.

If you happen to see a really uncordinated old white guy on the machine... trust me... I'll be done in a minute.

Must Write...

2007-09-06T08:23:00.000-04:00

If only I pushed a bit harder....

I know. Just keep going. Write through it. It'll come.

I need a chair like this - strapped to the keyboard - hand and foot - no choice but to crap or get off the pot...

Seemingly have no choice but to continue to push out pages.

Listened to the Creative Screenwriting Podcast the other day. The guy was talking about how he never has writers block cause he just has too many ideas...

Hmmm.

I guess I could relate if crappy ideas count. I seem to have a million of them. And I probably have 10-20 pages of a hundred scripts that follow those crappy ideas until they die.

And then they sit there on my harddrive - mocking me... waiting to be picked up again like the squirtgun that shoots jelly on the island of lost toys.

Cause everyone knows you don't need to be that great - you just need to have that one great idea...

If only that were true.

Just gotta push through.

Just keep on puuuuuussssshhhhhing....

Ah yes.... Here it comes....

Home

2007-09-05T06:04:00.000-04:00

It must be home.

I'm always surprised when I get back to the States.

My family actually likes me. And I them.

I can sit with my wife - hanging out on dueling laptop computers or watching TV late into the night - laughing and giggling like we were back in High School - just enjoying each others goofy presense. Ask me if she can set up dinners with friends of hers who don't believe that she actually has a husband. Smile as she explains to me that all the shoes arriving at the house are coming with free shipping and a great return policy. And that most of them are actually going back...

Sure they are...

I can go out to eat with my extended family and smile - not fight. Listen to my Dad talk about his new Church - where they actually like him and want him - even though he drives an hour each way.

Sit with my son and go over his homework. Have him read a book to me about Decepticons with minimal help. Sit on the couch together and watch the Magnificent 7 - and have him tell me it's a lot like the Pixar movie Bug's Life. Rub the top of his buzzed head and tell him he looks a lot like Wentworth Miller on Prison Break.

Get on a bike and ride for an hour with my daughter. On the big roads - cause they don't believe in sidewalks or bike paths here in Indiana. Work with her on her report on Amelia Earhart - and tell her reports are like telling a story - even though she continuously corrects me and tells me this is not supposed to be in story form. Watch her read Harry Potter and smile. Asks me to turn off the fan in her room when I go up to go to bed.

To see my little sister's smile as she shows off her new ring from her fiance. She how happy she looks as she talks about her upcoming wedding.

Have my dog follow me everywhere. To the bedroom. Downstairs in the middle of the night. To the bathroom while I take a shower. And even if I go out for a few minutes - just to get the mail - she shakes her whole body with happiness when I walk back in the door.

And for me. Just to be in my house. See my friends. Sit at the table where I wrote two scripts. Listen to music while I work through the night. Play the new leaked Kayne West CD over and over - enjoying the beats. Fill scraps of paper with ideas for scripts to start and abandon.

Think about what's next.

This is where the heart is.
But there is where the work is.

I'm enjoying it while I can...

Superbad

2007-09-04T04:36:00.000-04:00

What? Is there something wrong with a guy telling another guy that he loves him?
If that's wrong... I don't wanna be right...

Spent the day at my neices party.

My sister loves a big party. My wife's sister loves her a big party too.

I do not love big parties. In fact - I can't stand them. But it was a nice way to get to see everyone all at once in one fell swoop.

Played a lot of badmitten with my son. Watched my daughter take the rope from the pinata and try to make a zip line from the tree to the ground. She was using a horseshoe to try to slide down from a high branch.

Amusing.

But tonight - my closest friend Shawn and I made a run for the theater.

In our small town - there is one movie theater. Its not bad - as small town theaters go... but they don't bring a huge selection - and they don't bring in a whole lot of R rated films.

We really wanted to see Superbad - well... because we heard that it was Super Bad...

It wasn't playing here.
That means its an hour drive to Ft Wayne to the big Rave theater.

We usually try to go to the latest show because:

A: The kids are asleep by then and the wives don't yell at us as much.
B: Night here is my day.

Tonight was the last chance to see it cause Shawn heads off for Mexico city tomorrow. He wanted to go Saturday - but it was my first day back and it didn't seem like a good idea to run out on the family. Sunday he thought I was gonna call him - and I thought he was gonna call me - so neither of us called.

Today - we were both at the party - and knowing it was our last chance before he left - we had to go.

He showed up at my place at 9:45 - to get to the theater for the 10:50 show. He was a bit late - so I drove a bit fast.

We pulled up at 10:35.

We walked to the theater - which is in the middle of an outdoor mall. Don't bother asking why someone would build an upscale outdoor mall in the middle of northern Indiana. I still to this day question the logic. The point is you can't see the theater from the parking lot.

When we got there - the box office was closed. The usher was cleaning up. We were in shock.

I looked to the board - and there was the showing.

Superbad 10:50.

We immediately hit good cop/bad cop mode. (can you guess what I was?)

Hey man. What's up with the show?

What show?

Superbad. The 10:50.

Oh yeah... um... well. There is no show.

But it was in the paper. And on the internet.

Yeah... that was a misprint.

But it was in there all week. And its on your board.

Yeah. Well. There is no show tonight.

Let me talk to a manager.

So the manager ambles out.

Yeah sorry guys... we don't have that show on Monday. All these guys gotta get to school tomorrow... and when they made the schedule they never put anyone on to watch the late show. As you can see - we're already cleaning up the snack bar.

But... we drove an hour to get here.

Yeah... well - I can give you some free passes...

But its on your board....

Yeah... sorry....

Look. We don't need any snacks. We just want the movie. Can't you just start it up now... it'll be done early... and then we'll go. We won't even use the bathroom.

After a couple of seconds of blank stares - the guy said sure.

And he said we could watch it for no charge.

We got an empty theater all to ourselves. The manager himself ran the film. Asked us if we minded skipping the previews. We said not at all.

Then he offered to get us free drinks.

That's what I call customer service.

And to top it off - the movie was so funny I almost coughed out a piece of lung. It is one of the sweetest foulest movies I've seen in a while. And that I got to share it with my best friend made it all the better.

Thanks Rave Theater Manager, Ft Wayne Indiana. You made my night.

Scented Candles

2007-08-29T20:55:00.000-04:00

Thirsty? Got Pet Sweat?

On my way back from a perfectly lovely evening of Korean food with my new adopted Beijing family by way of Australia - I was reminded of an old game my wife and I lovingly like to call:

Unsavory Scented Candles. (inspired by David Letterman)

Our personal favorites

Earwax
Scorched Flesh
Chicken Factory
Noontime Pakistani Bus
Hershey Squirts
Morgue
Gas Station Bathroom
Wet Dog
Buglight

And the newest addition:

Chinese Taxi Driver.

One day left...and I'll be leaving - on a jet plane....

Big in Japan....

2007-08-28T18:26:00.000-04:00

I've been working in China for a year now.

This is my third stint here.

First one was with Discovery Channel - back in 1994.

Next was with my company, partnering with a US company and a Chinese company in 1998-2000.

This is three.

Times have changed. The place has changed. The world has changed.

I learned Chinese growing up as a missionary kid in Taiwan. Wasn't something I set out to do. Just something that happened.

For some reason - moving to Taiwan in 8th grade was really good for me. Those difficult formative years were made all the more interesting by growing up in a foreign country far removed from American life.

I was fascinated with the people and the culture - and while I didn't really go out of my way to learn the language any more than taking classes in school - I found I could pick it up pretty well.

Most kids can. Language just seems to seep in better when you're that age.

At the time - while there was a large amount of internationals there in Taiwan - we still weren't the norm. I got used to being starred at everywhere I went. I also got used to getting away with things I would never dream of in the States - mostly because we were different - but also because most people didn't want to go through the hassle of trying to speak English to us and tell us what idiots we were.

I took Chinese all through High School - ending up in classes with kids who had lived there all their lives. Never got a long with any Chinese teacher I had - in fact, I think I was sent to the office more by Chinese teachers than any other teachers - and most teachers there hated me - to the point of one teacher actually announcing to the class that she hated me...

Ah the Joy of Missionary school...

But unlike most families there - we actually lived in the villiage as opposed to a compound - where families would all live together in a little walled off community in a semblance of the suburbs - surrounded by others with similar colored skin. Just being in an all Chinese enviorment meant that you had to learn. Had to speak.

I got to use my Chinese all the time. I worked in a pizza place. I taught English. I went out with my friends. Our school was a boarding school - but in my class there were 7 of us that actually lived in town - and we would go everywhere on the island - hiking mountains, traveling to the beach... where ever the train or bus could take us. We loved being there. In fact - out of the 7 - 3 actually still live in Asia - with me, the 4th - traveling back and forth to this day.

We couldn't drive till we were 18 - which I didn't turn till college - so bikes, buses, taxis and trains were our friends. We loved getting out as much as possible.

And then it all ended. Most missionaries do about 4 years, then head home for one - then back for four. Since I would have left for my senior year - we stayed an extra - so I could graduate there.

Then I headed back to the States for college.

My parents went back. After I got married - my wife and I went back for a month together. I spent a summer there in college with some friends. Got to go back and shoot a TV show there during my 98-00 stint.

I miss it.

But China is where the action is now.

The Olympics are less than a year away.

Watched Discovery Channel the other night and there was a big special on the building of CCTV's new tower here in Beijing. It's right across the street from me. I wake up every day and watch them building. Weird to see it being talked about in English...

I heard there are immersion schools in Texas right now teaching half the day in Chinese.

The Weinstein Company just announced a near 3 million dollar fund that is going to be totally devoted to doing films in Asia.

Never in my life did I think that my minimal language skills would come into play professionally.

Never imagined that I would keep coming back like a Yo Yo to this part of the world.

And now my kids have got to come and spend the summer here - getting it in their blood.

The world is changing. Don't know what this yet means for me. Guess in some ways, I'm lucky to have a marginal career on two different continents... :)

Never heard of me... but I'm big in Japan....

Lost...

2007-08-26T18:50:00.000-04:00

It's Monday morning here.

It's the last four days before I can get on a plane and head home. Even though I get to go back for just one week - it still is awesome. Not that I don't love China - but I do love seeing my family and my dog.

My daughter is doing a report on Amelia Earhart and I will actually be home to see it. If I can drag myself outta bed.

Cause day here is night there and night there is day here.

So in prelude to my weekend, here's how things broke down at the end of last week.

We finally had approval from the stations and from the government for our show. We had done over 25 versions and sent them out and everyone was ready for the September 1 launch...

When I got a call on Thursday morning.

Greg. We have bad news.

What?

One of the product names is wrong. The Character and Voice over need to be changed. On every tape.

Trust me. Most would panic. I didn't. I'm so over panic. If this was the first change, maybe. If it were the 50th change... possibly. But I have gone through 6 months of changes - and this one doesn't even make me twitter. I just pull out a pen - get the offending character written down - and start making changes.

On Friday - I see that the actor we have an offer out to has signed for another film. Doesn't mean he's turning us down - just means that he's doing something else. But it probably isn't good...

So what does that mean for me?

Does that give me the motivation to go out and write another script? Work on new ideas?

Nah....

I got married two weeks before I started Film school.

We had just got out of college - worked all summer and saved - and then got married, went to my grandparents for our honeymoon and then moved and started grad school.

While I went to school - my wife worked two jobs.

I watched movies all day. Cause it was homework.

That lasted about a month before I found out who the real boss in our relationship was.

This weekend reminded me of those old days.

I watched a plethora of movies.

Weeds Season 1 and 2 - really interesting show. Great cast and writing. Very unrealistic and quite dirty - but an amazing show about a bad mother who is still quite sympathetic.

The Lost Room - Sci Fi mini-series with a great premise - a lot of fun episodes - and a weak ending.

Chinese Movies-
Invisible Target - great first half, lousy second.
Undercover - weak Wong Kar Wai wannabe - nowhere in the same league.
Blood Brothers - Produced by John Woo - very melodramatic
Perfect Love in Peach Blossom land - Really fun old Taiwanese film about two plays being put on the same stage - sometimes at the same time.
Flashpoint - The new Donnie Yun movie. He did Iron Monkey. Lots of Brazilian Jujitsu type moves - but really fun.

Korean Movie -
Comrade - great little double agent film. Very restrained and well done. And depressing.

American Film -
Resevoir Dogs - sigh. Interesting to watch it again and admire it. Horrible to hear Tarantino talk in his interviews about what a genius he is. Kinda makes me throw up in my mouth... just a little bit.

Sigh.

All of that should serve to be very inspiring. But it isn't yet.

But I'm still brewing. Ideas are easy. Good ideas are hard.

Just got a call from America - Everyone is at my little sister's engagement party.

Guess it's time to make the donuts...

The Bold and the Breathless

2007-08-23T19:42:00.000-04:00

There are a lot of great things about China.

But here is one that is....eh... not so much....

And by saying its not a great thing... I mean that we find it uncomfortable - in a way that when you are confronted by the truth it makes you feel uncomfortable.

Cause here's the thing.

The Chinese are like your mom.

Or a really blunt, overprotective mom who thinks that she's doing you a favor to tell you that your clothes don't match. Or that you look awful. Or that you have a giant zit on your face.

The Chinese are just like that.

Once they get to know you even a little bit - they have no problem telling you what is wrong with you. Or what they perceive to be wrong with you.

And frankly, as a midwesterner who always answers "Great" when asked how I'm doing - even if I'm carrying the gun to kill myself in my pocket - it's all a bit disconcerting.

I like my truth where it belongs: covered over by polite insincerity.

There is a reason we have politeness. There is a reason we tell people what it is they want to hear. And usually the reason is:

We don't care much for the truth.

Sure there are time when the truth is great. Necessary even.

But there are other times... when we don't.

Case in point.

I'm walking out the Hotel the other day to head to work. I run into one of the ladies from the executive lounge where I used to eat breakfast every day before I moved to the apartments.

I haven't seen her in about a month.

Hey - I warmly said. How are you?

Good... she replied. You got fat.

Huh...? I stammered.

Yeah... you're fatter.

I kind of just starred.

You should exercise more.

I am... I said. I play basketball three times a week....

Oh. Well. You should do it everyday.

OK. Well. Thanks.

(I start for the door. Ready to get outta there...)

Wait. She said.... How are you doing?

GREAT! I say...

Reaching for my gun....

Can't we all get along?

2007-08-22T19:13:00.000-04:00

I felt like I was in a mini-united nations. Or the cast of Sesame Street.

Let me explain.

The company pays for my stays here in China. Of course they do - cause I'm here for them.

Last December - when we were getting ready for our first shoot - I moved here to the Kerry Center because we had two locations here we thought we were going to film. Two day before the shoot - they told us they changed their minds and didn't think it was the best idea.

Happens. Not often. But it does happen.

Lucky for them I had already moved my crew in and we were here for a month.

For some reason - even after that slight - I didn't leave.

Mostly because I knew the Sales guy - and it was easy to email him when I was coming and get a room. The longer I stayed - the cheaper it got - and my stays got longer and longer.

Once we were done shooting - Company suggested I find an apartment. Which made sense - since my family would be coming out.

Lucky for me - hotel has aparments attached to them.

So we moved to the apartments - where I've been for the last three months.

The apartments are funny things. Expensive things. But nice. Furnished. Private. Cleaners come through twice a week. Have your own washer dryer... That kind of thing.

Last night they were having a party for the residents.

I haven't really met anyone. Most of the time - the elevators are empty. I ran into a guy from Singapore who has lived here 10 years with his family. 10 YEARS! Oh my gosh...

The other guy I met is John. John is from Australia - looks to be in his early 50's. We met after seeing each other at different places in the hotel 3 times in one day. Since then - we continue to run into each other all the time. He moved here with his wife - left his life behind - and is studying Chinese. They planned to stay a month - and now they are one their third.

So my table was me - American.
John - Australian.
Chu - John's wife - from Singapore.
A Finnish lady and her daughter. They have been here for 10 years - and she had an extensive knowledge of Chinese history - going as far as to tell me the book on Mao that I was starting was complete rubbish.
A Frenchman who works for a gas company and his wife from Shanghai and their 13 year old daughter. I tried talking to the wife in English - because they had only been here 10 days and I didn't want to assume she spoke Chinese - but as soon as I did - she breathed a huge sigh of relief.
Three Japanese ladies who we never talked to.

A mini-United Nations. With less fighting.

The conversation was thrown around the table about everything from morality, to politics, to Chinese customs and history.

The dinner was billed as a BarBQue and wine meal. Very strange combo I thought. Stranger still was the meat which really didn't resemble any BarBQue I've ever tasted.

But the entertainment more than made up for it.

A Chinese clown - who doubled as a magician. He had a whistle in his mouth that he would blow loud and incessantly whenever he felt people weren't paying enough attention to him.

Three Chinese dancing girls - who changed outfits 5 times - and seem to get into skimpier and skimpier clothes. Not sure who ordered them - but the old Japanese men loved them.

And last but not least:

A 20 year old long haired European kid with a saxophone. He looked like an extra from the Simpsons. He insisted on walking through the crowd - blowing notes at the back of your head until you stopped talking and paid attention.

Quite enjoyable.

All in all - a really interesting and fun night.

I am alone...

2007-08-21T19:15:00.000-04:00

Utterly... alone....

Not been writing.

Finishing up the Rape of Nanking - and have been a little sad ever since. I guess there's a reason why I don't read a lot of non fiction.

Cause life can be pretty disgusting.

Worse than that - I followed up to see what else author Iris Chang had written - because she wrote this brilliant book at 29 - and found out not only is she dead - she is dead by her own hand.

She was working on a new book and apparently had a breakdown that had her convinced she was being followed by the CIA and she shot herself - leaving behind her husband and 2 year old son.

That's just another log on the fire of depression.

The book is so gripping and amazing - as any account of heroism is in the face of overwhelming odds. It really is crazy that there hasn't been a film about this. There were so many people who basically gave up their lives to stay in the city and help when there was no hope of them ever really getting out alive.

If you don't know the story - The Japanese - in their march across China - took over the city of Nanking in about 2 days. Then they systematically killed close to 300,000 people in a matter of days. Afterwards - they occupied the city and raped any girl they could find. If not for the bravery of a few doctors, missionaries and a couple Nazis - the rest would have died as well.

Ms Chang also goes into the mindset that would allow a group of people - in this horrific case - the Japanese to be able to kill and rape as they did. I personally believe that we all have black hearts and released to our own instincts will always do what best suits us. If you remove societal restraint and law - and replace it with a fanatical devotion to the emperor - coupled with the authorities telling you this is what you do - I can see it happening.

It would never happen again though. At least, not during a war. Not in this age of embedded reporters and 24 hour news channels.

But at this point - the world did know what was going on. Just not to the extent of what really happened. And that ignorance still continues. Most have no clue of what happened here - let alone even where "here" is on a map. Until this book came out in the mid 90's - I doubt most Americans even knew about it.

On one hand - you ask yourself - If I was there, and Japanese - would I have been part of doing these unspeakable things? Could I have somehow been the lone voice of reason or dissent? And at the same time - you ask - would I have had the balls to be one of the ex pats who stayed behind to set up as safety zone and defy the Japanese army - taking my life into my hands every day? Roaming the streets at night without weapons - trying to save lives - like those men and women did?

It was a different time - in a place cut off from the rest of the world with people on both sides feeling as if they were answering to a higher moral authority - but in the end, no one can doubt that everyone there was singularly touched by the atrocities committed.

To this day - people are still affected.

And yet - it still happens. Rowanda. Dafur. And others.

I guess I've answered my own question.
I'm the guy who sits by and watches bad stuff happen.

And on that happy note: Off to work.
I promise to be back with more silly distracting pictures and happy thoughts later...

Recovering

2007-08-15T18:25:00.000-04:00

Bleah.

Tueday was a long night.

For some reason - I got sick. Not like, puking sick... just like - you've been going in and out of highpowered air conditioning to 104 degree heat too many times - type sick.

My head was pounding and my nose would just run uncontrollably. We have no 24 hour Walmart here - so I was forced to use napkins to blow my nose - and it got uglier from there.

Needless to say - I was thankful we have a clinic in the basement of the Apartments here - and when I went in and told them my symptoms - they told me to talk to the pharmacist - who promplty gave me medicine. No doctor visit - nothing... and I feel much better.

Who knew?

We finally got approval for our latest show - so it's a flurry of activity here in Beijing. Onlining - mixing - and preparing versions. I love versions. Millions of shows with just tiny little tweaks that are so easy to miss - all going out at the same time under enormous deadlines.

Whee!

I'm also hanging under the weight of the fact that my family is leaving me.

The kids start school next week and so they must return home. Unfortunately - I must stay for another couple weeks. The days do seem to get longer and longer when they're away.

But what do you do?

You keep on keeping on... I guess. Till something else happens.

They head off for the Summer Palace today - one of my favorites - and a great way to spend your last day in China before going back to the middle of Indiana.

I'm halfway through Iris Chan's Rape of Nanking - and dear God is it a depressing book. I don't know if there are many great pilliaging books that make you feel triumphant - but wow... this is definately a dark day in the history of China and Japan. It's amazing to see the selfless acts of the people who stepped up and tried their best to stop things - even when their own lives are at stake. You always think about what you would do in a situation like that - but who knows if you really could. Just reading about it makes me want to crawl up in a ball and cry for mommy.

But - like all tragedies - they are very quickly forgotten and we move on. The promise of never again seems to ring hollow in our ears. But hopefully in this case... it truely will be so.

And on that happy note... :) Off to work.

Letting the days go by...

2007-08-13T18:28:00.000-04:00

This is not my beautiful mall. This is not my beautiful Goth...

My God! What have I done!?!

I was playing basketball last week at the language university with my old high school friend. That is strange enough as it is. Then it turns out one of the other white guys on the court not only grew up in Virginia Beach - where my family lived for 15 years - he went to the same Grad School as I did.

Then another guy was here in China on vacation. He currently works for Harvard University. But not so long ago - he worked for a company here in China that also paid for one of my TV Series here. And he knew a lot of the same people I did.

And we all met up on a basketball court.
In China.

We talked about a lot of things - and I got sort of philosophical as I am wont to do - and they started glazing over as I drew all sorts of universal truths out of a seemingly random meeting...

But it did make me think about a lot of stuff.

I have often run off on a tangent about isolation. When people are isolated and surrounded by like minded individuals to the point that everyone looks the same and thinks the same - that start to assume that the rest of the world either:

a. Looks and thinks the same as they do. OR
b. Needs to look and think the same as they do. Or die a horrible death. Preferrably by fire.

Isolation leads to trouble. The best way to avoid becoming crazy is to surround yourself with people who don't think the same way you do and constantly re-evaluate why you have the world view you do. It doesn't mean that what you think is wrong - but it does give you a reality check.

China is a great example of what happens when you grow out of touch with the world. They were removed from modern life for a long time - and now they are starting the long road back to try to reach the present day. But they are doing it without a lot of discernment. They are reaching and grasping so fast that a lot of what makes them unique is going to get lost.

Racism is another great example of people developing thoughts in isolation.

Really - it all comes down to fear. What we don't know or understand - we fear. That black guy. Those Communists. Harry Potter...

And that fear makes us search out others who see the world like us. And we talk about our fears - and it makes us feel better. And soon we've created a group of people who all worry and fear the same things as us and we don't want to be around others who don't - cause they just don't get it - and boy will they be sorry when we are proved right.

But somewhere - somehow - people break out of that. And they do the impossible. They leave Italy and go to China and discover a new world. They quit their job and move to South America to live in a villiage. They bring medicine to Africa. They go work in the inner city. They write scripts about people doing those things. Or... they talk about writing scripts about people doing those things...

Years and years ago - my dad decided that working for the MAN was bringing him down. He was being asked to do things that he was morally against - so he quit. We were living a nice upper middle class life in a nice suburb in Southern Ohio. To keep up our house payments - the neighbors took pity on him and he started painting houses in the neighborhood.

One day he came down off a ladder and told us that he felt God was calling him to be a missionary.

I was in forth grade.

By the time I was 12 - I was growing up in Taiwan. Which is where I learned Chinese. Which is where the world first opened up to me. Which is where I saw firsthand the way isolation can ruin your heart.

But back to basketball.

At some point in each of these guys lives - they decided to leave what they were doing and do something else. Even halfway across the world. And they love it.

So many of us struggle with the job and the family and the writing - that we forget the adventure of the road less traveled. We get to open a window to a world that so many never see.

Three years ago - my family spent the summer in Puerto Rico putting up satellite dishes so that remote schools could get the internet. In truth, its probably so that the pricipals of those schools could get the internet - but it was a great experience for the kids.

This summer - they've got to spend a month in China. Seeing the world. Visiting new places.

Once you move past that one circle of influence - the world opens up and you start to see things in a whole new way. You can't go back to the little place you came from and forget.

There's nothing to fear. There are a lot of big ideas out there - and your ideas should be up for the challenge. In the process you get to bend and grow and change.

Every year I try to change a deep seated habit of mine just to prove to myself I can still change. Its hard and unpleasant - but I always feel good afterwards.

I hope as my kids grow up they see the world as one distinct place - completely open to them - ready to be explored.

As my daughter said to me yesterday: Daddy? what cool new place are we gonna go next summer?

Sorry for the rambling nature of the post. Its early... :)

Made in China

2007-08-12T17:44:00.000-04:00

Week became a blur.

It's so great to actually be together with my family. But its also easy to forget the little things. Like blogging... or writing... or sleeping...

The show continues to move forward. Everyone seems to be very happy with me and with the results of my work - but honestly - what else can they say? They so desparately want something to get on the air - they have little to no choice but to use what I'm giving. It has taken way longer than I figured to get this done - but seeing how corporate we are - I don't think it could have happened any faster. Especially across two cultures and languages.

My producer is now in Spain - working on his other films. He does a couple over there a year. He hadn't heard back from anyone by the end of the week - so we are still waiting. When he gets back - we continue the push. I've played this game before. And I've mentioned on here - optioning and selling the script are exciting - but are in no way indicators that you are near the end of the tunnel. If anything - you're just entering it - and in all probability will never see the light of production at the other end.

Probably just end up crashing and burning somewhere along the line.

Sigh. That doesn't at all sound bitter and cynical does it? Really? I thought I just sounded like a pragmatic writer...

Since we got rained out on the first trip - we spent Saturday trekking to the Great Wall. Now my Chinese friends laugh - kind of like we do when someone wants to go see the Statue of Liberty. It's nice - but who wants to deal with the crowds and the tourists. But my kids really wanted to whole experience - and far be it from me to deny them this - when I so readily deny them so much else.

There are a lot of places to see the wall - but the one most people go to is Ba Da Ling. The two times I've been there have both been to Ba Da Ling. Most tourists go there as well - as its the closest spot to Beijing.

If you have a choice - Don't go there.

We went instead to MuTianyu. Its a bit farther - but only by 30 minutes or so. The wall is in a lot better shape - and the scenery is way better as its more up in the mountains. You can see forever on a clear day.

I recommend getting up early to head out. We left at 7 - and there were only 30-40 people there when we got there. By the time we were leaving - buses were arriving.

The great thing about MuTianyu is that you get to take a ski lift up to the wall location - and then toboggan down. The wall is basically like climbing a thousand of the steepest steps you've ever been on in your life - so you'll get enough exercise - but the ride up and down are really great.

My kids went nuts for it. Nervous on the way up at how easily you could fall off the lift - and thrilled on the way down at the prospect of slamming our sled into the one in front of us.

The toboggan is a little lunge type sled with a brake. You ride on a silver tube track all the way down.

Here's a little video to give you an idea. Its actually much faster if you don't use the brake...

Friday I played ball for two hours. Actually did OK for a guy my age. Scored well and played decent defense. Paid the price though as my knee kept me awake all night. Wore my brace on the wall and did OK and managed to make up for my lost sleep on Sunday.

Time to jump back in. Only 5 days till the family heads back to the states. I hate to see them go - but they start school soon.

My daughter asked me if I would ever be home for the first day of school for her. I told her - I don't think we're that type of family. We miss some of the little things - but we get to do big crazy things - like sledding down the mountain by the Great Wall instead.

She didn't look impressed.

Time to make the donuts....

More Drifting to do...

2007-08-08T21:00:00.000-04:00

In a world - where dinosaurs and drift racing make sense...

Brilliant. Thank you internet.

Back in the PROC

2007-08-07T17:59:00.000-04:00

Hit the ground yesterday about 3 China time.

Its grey and wet here. Still overcast and dark this morning.

Whole family is back - piling back into the apartment. They did great on the flight - way better than I would have at 7 - jammed in a tiny silver tube and told to sit still for 13 straight hours.

But they were restless getting off.

I crashed at 11 last night - and today I start back in on a month straight of trying to get things up and running for the end of the month.

We are somewhere in the middle of three different versions of three different shows - and they all are supposed to start airing September 1. Lots to do and not a lot of time.

I came to the realization that I have lived in China more than America for the last year.

But we are getting closer to the finish line. It keeps moving - but its the finish line nonetheless.

The movie is still moving forward. More great reviews of my producer's last movie are starting to hit the web. He's getting a lot of great offers - but he is still pushing my script - along with handfulls of others I'm sure. We have another company now that is very hot for it. The head guy reads it this week. And we still await news from our top choice. His management company asked a lot of questions last week - and we should be getting close to a decision.

I sent out a copy of this article on producing to my producing friends:

Here

Producing is like magic. As soon as you try to describe it - you've lost it.

My friend David responded with this:

"The one I normally use to answer the question, "What do you do as producer?" is:

I make of list of things to do and then do them."

To which Shawn responded:

"I tend to make a list of things to do and figure out how to get other people
to do them. Using as little money as possible."

Both are brilliant breakdowns of different types. Both are equally true to producing and life... :)

I'm still struggling through my next idea.

I did 10 pages one way - then took a character from those 10 and wrote another 10 - then took a scene from each of the two and started again. There's always something that pulls me in another direction. I guess the good news is that I'm writing. The bad news is I don't really know what.

But that is also the joy.

Out to face the grey...

The secrets that I keep...

2007-08-05T22:05:00.000-04:00

My identity is not the only one...

Having a blog is a great outlet. You always balance saying enough to be interesting with saying so much that you get in big trouble. I never know what the line is - and usually don't care.

The fact that some people - ok... 3... actually come by here and read stuff is really flattering.

Mr WC Dixon comes by often. Strange - cause he is a real professional. He knows what he's doing - is very prolific - and talented. So what he's doing here is as much a mystery to me as it is to you...

Anyways. He tagged me. And while I have been tagged in the past and ignored it... I figured its time to man up and be a sport.

Rules were as follows:

Once you’ve been tagged, as I have, you must write a blog post with ten weird, random things, little-known facts or habits about yourself. At the end, choose at least 5 people to be tagged, list their names and why you picked them. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you’ve been tagged” and tell them to read your latest blog.

Sad to say that my life is such an open book, some of these are repeats. But in case you missed my torrid past:

1. I'm Cheap.

This could come from growing up lower middle class? We were never poor - but we certainly weren't well off. It was never like we didn't have stuff - and no matter how many times Mom would say there wouldn't be much for Christmas this year - there always seemed to be enough... but we never were extravagant. We were never the ones to run out and splurg - or go on vacation. We lived within our means. From the time I hit high school - I had a job and made my own money. Always. If I needed something - I was taught to work for it. When I got married - for the first 7 years, we never had a credit card cause I saw too many friends go nuts and go into debt. Never liked to go out to nice places to eat cause the food was gone too fast and seemed too expensive. I remember in Grad school - when we would go to Olive Garden - we would try to drink a 2 liters worth of soda - cause it was 99cents for a drink.

Yeah. Cheap. Tight. Still am. Helped when we went two years trying to stretch a buck and get the movie going. Sad when it all fell apart.

2. I don't work for the money.

I have been ridiculously blessed. I have no complaints. And believe me, I thank God everyday for an incredible wife. We have no idea what tomorrow holds and we usually don't freak out about it too much. God has always provided and continues to provide. I got my first break as a director/producer two years out of grad school. I went claiming 12 grand combined income for the year to making 40. It was a huge change. But 10 months later - I quit. The job was becoming the same thing and I wasn't learning or doing new things. Switched to Discovery Channel and started producing. Wanted to direct - and when they wouldn't let me - I quit. A year later I was back - producing and directing. All through my career - I've quit good jobs for new or different jobs. A lot of times it was to make less money. But I've never regret it. I always want to do something new - or take a job where I learn something new. Don't let it be about the money if you can help it.

If you're just starting out... take the job. Get experience. Then quit for something new.

Plenty of people who've worked with me have gone on to make a lot more money than me and work higher profile jobs than me. I'm really proud of them...It's just not what I'm looking for.

(Just keep telling yourself that Greg....)

3. I've had the same Stereo since 1985.

I love movies. But more than movies - I love music. Always have. While kids here save and work for their first car... Growing up in Taiwan - where we couldn't drive till we were 18 - we saved for a new stereo. Between my sophmore and junior years of high school - I taught English for the summer. I saved all my money in a big pimp roll in a can I kept under my bed. I had a picture of this Aiwa component system that I saw in the International Herald Tribune. My senior year - our basketball team went to Hong Kong for the big tournament. I took my wad of cash and bought the system. My dad called it Darth Vader - cause I'd go to sleep with music on everynight and all you'd see in the dark was the lights from the stereo.

It's almost dead now. The speakers are rotted out. The turntable doesn't work. The auto reverse tape deck has been out for years. But its a hell of a receiver and the amp still kicks pretty hard - especially for a 20 year old system.

4. I have never...tasted coffee.

This is great for getting everyone to take a drink. When I was little - my dad was a big coffee drinker - and I think I'm the only person on earth that doesn't like the smell of brewing coffee. All my life I would smell that and feel a bit quesy - so I never tried it. At this point in my life - its more a point of pride and a deep seated desire to be different in one thing that keeps me from doing it.

Oh well...

5. I have produced/directed over 100 hours of television.

Maybe 20+ are any good....

Enough said.

6. I have a lot of two wheeled accidents.

When I was five - I was run over on an Olympic Time Trials Bike Track. The beveled kind. Snapped both bones in my legs. Growing up in Taiwan - I followed that up by have at least 20-30 motorcycle accidets. One time - we were riding motorcycles at night at a college in the dark - with only one bike that had a working headlight. Two of us sped ahead of the guy with the light - only to find out the road deadended into a 3 foot brick wall. I was thrown about 15 feet - but my buddy ripped his knee open. I took the bike with the light - the only one that worked - and threw him on the back. One the way to the hospital - we crashed again.

Needless to say - my wife doesn't want me near a motorcycle. She's a killjoy...

7. I've run four marathons.

None since High school though. Trained for one a couple years back - but ended up getting a job and had to leave on the morning of the race. My first race - I took ninth place in my age range. It was on the roads near the ocean on the southern tip of Taiwan. My coach got all pissed off cause the kid that took 5th road by us on the back of a motorcycle...

I really didn't care. I was happy to still be alive. Why I ever did it again is beyond me.

8. My wife is way more talented than I am.

She is an artist, a songwriter, a writer, a craftsman and a mom. She can draw, sing, play the piano and guitar, make necklaces and sell them, cook, write the most witty, insightful things - and take care of the kids.

Me? As I've said, the director is usually the least talented person on the set. I am the epitome of this statement.

I just hire good people, sit back and complain.

9. I taught Jessica Simpson Chinese.

For my show.
She's a hard worker.
Harder worker than I thought.
She wouldn't give up till she got it right.
And she did.

...Eventually.

10. I was Jason Mewes ass double.

I was also kissed by Paris Hilton. Both in the same movie.

You can read about it in one of my first posts ever:

Here

and here.

Now - I'm supposed to tag 5 people.

Here you go:

DAVID - Cause you're smarter and a better writer than me.
RYAN - Cause you're a punk kid with time on his hands.
MATT - Cause you're just starting out and deserve more links.
DANTE - Cause you're nice enough to come by - and smart enough that I want to know more about you.
SARAH - Cause you're the only one from writing class that actually still writes.

Have at it kids. Looking forward to seeing the results.

I'm on a plane tomorrow to return to China. Be gone another month.

God have mercy...

Surreal day...

2007-08-03T10:34:00.000-04:00

Interesting day.

I'm still on the "stay up all night - sleep during the day" schedule for when I come back from China. Otherwise - I just end up sick in two different countries. However - it inevitably ends up being that I sort of make it a mix of sleep part way through the day and part way through the night - never committing to either - so that I see my wife and kids and don't make them want to kill me...

Too much...

After staying up all night - I met with Ryan - the other half of my Indian writers group. Although neither of us have been prolific enough to call it a writers group much anymore. Ryan has written a lot this year - but since his marriage... not so much. I continue my quest to sabatoge all good will I generated from my movie by not doing anything. So mostly we get together - solve the problems of the world - and in the case of yesterday - talk about Harry Potter.

Good times, Good times.

Crashed about 11am.

Woke up last night and the wife was determined for us all to go see Ratatouille - which I really want to see. I love Pixar and still believe they haven't made a misstep yet - and the reviews of the film sounded incredible - but everyone had seen it but me - and so I suggested the Simpson's Movie instead.

She agreed. Reluctantly.

I talked with two people yesterday about the appropriateness of the film for kids - and I didn't really hear any red flags - but I should have just used my head and thought better.

The movie is hillarious. Wildly so. I laughed harder and louder than anyone in the theater. But there is a lot of content that flies by really fast that is probably not best for little kids. My kids - like all kids that get to see something they know they wouldn't get to see otherwise - loved it. My wife slugged me. She wasn't too happy with me or my discernment.

While the movie is wonderful - with the benefit of hindsight - we would have stuck with our first choice - and gone to the Simpson's on our own.

Where else can you hear the line "why do all the thing I whip end up leaving me?"

Or my son's favorite "I'm a weiner."

Now a normal post would end here. But this is not a normal post. It is a specially enhanced all night in America post.

After getting home from that - and talking things out with the wife - I climbed back in the car to drive an hour to a real theater with my buddy to go see Bourne Ultimatium at the midnight show.

A long time ago, Shawn and I moved out here to do our movie. In the time since - the movie crashed and burned - Shawn got a real job traveling the world and manipulating global events like a tiny Dick Chaney - and I go to China to do TV shows.

Every now our schedules sync up and we get to do something fun - like seeing a movie. Even if its the midnight movie.

On the way up - my LA producer called. We got call backs from a couple of people interested in the project from an investment side. The big star he had dinner with the other night about another project is interested in my film. The big star we have an offer out to has set a meeting with his manager for today. So there was actually some movement forward. He is really excited and he is pushing it.

Or so he makes it sound - which is all I care.

We saw the movie - which opens today - which is really great. Best finishing film of a trilogy - possibly ever. It is what it is. Hardcore. Serious. Great filmmaking - even with the shaky cam - and great acting. Really great writing - even though there are huge sections of the film without any dialog. Just relentless from start to stop and probably the most existential film series ever done as big action movies go.

Set it self up for a sequel - but ended in a great way for the franchise to be done.

On the way back - Shawn was swept up in events in New Zealand and Australia on his cell phone for most of the ride home.

Hard to believe two losers from Virginia are still making things happen - even on a tiny tiny scale - from a 3000 person town in the middle of nowhere.

Two great films. One you need to go see today. And a really nice time with a great friend. All in all - not too bad.

Do you love hip hop?

2007-08-02T06:35:00.000-04:00

Probably the only thing more pathetic than white kids across the country acting like they are black - are almost 40 year old guys who love hip hop.

Like me!

Nothing makes me smile more than rap and hip hop. The beats. The things that they say. The mix of crass and class. Sometimes witty. Sometimes foul.

It makes me smile.

I think R Kelly takes the cake. He is the funniest, most sincere dude on the planet. And he keeps making money - even though everyone knows he likes to pee on people! I am flabbergasted.

This is the weirdest, most uncomfortable song I've heard in a while. And wow... it is so close to being a guy's love song to another guy... But funny nonetheless.

And here's the white girl's answer back.

Holla!

I've completed another all night writing session. Trying to make something out of the mess of scenes I've got. It started with an old scene from another script. Then added a new scene from another discarded start. Then a little tweaking...

It's slowly becoming something.

And at the same time I've been doing a double dose of dangerous downloads.

Jay Z and Bruce Springsteen. Hova vrs the Boss.

That's serious business.

Still silence on the movie. But tomorrow, my fellow producer is meeting with the manager of the star we made our last offer to. Producer had dinner with a big star last night that wants producer to do his next film. Star is a really big star from the 80s/90s who has since been kinda quiet - but at that time he was an A lister - and would be great for the film.

So things could take a nice turn.

Or not.

Either way... I got R Kelly to keep my spirits up. And I know him like a preacher knows his word....

God Forbid

2007-07-31T11:37:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about this since the other day.

I read this great article.

http://www.calendarlive.com/movies/cl-ca-once29jul29,0,1024160.story?coll=cl-movies

And I really believe this clip illustrates my point.

If you are a parent - you have been subjected to Chucky Cheese. And those crazy robots sing the worst songs. And sometimes it makes you want to pluck your eyes out and shove forks in your ears.

But not when they sing Ms. New Booty.
In fact - now - it becomes must see TV.

This article drives home a point that sickens me.

You can write a great script.
You can make a great film.
You can get all the critics lined up behind you.

Still doesn't make people give a rats ass.

I know.
It's really heartbreaking.

Unless you write 100% blockbuster entertainment - its a really bitter pill.

I love the small film. I love the movie that others don't. The challenging one. The one you gotta watch two or three times to start to get it all.

Most don't.

I wanna have the unlikeable guy as the lead. The girl that is so annoying - you almost can't take her. The family with the biggest flaws and problems. The guy who can't remember anything so he has to tattoo everything on his body.

And sometimes - the movie ends and they are worse off than they started.

Everyone else want Transforming Robots.

And don't get me wrong - I loves me some Transforming Robots.

But I'd like to think there's still a place at the table for the little guy. The challenging guy. The one no one thinks is gonna make it - but somehow triumphs.

And what does it say to us writers who are out there trying to tell those stories?

What if you throw a party and no one comes?

Now - on the other hand - the makers of "Once" have to be happy. There has been thousands of article written about them. The music is everywhere. The reviews are glowing. They have made back over 15 times what it cost to make. Everyone associated with that film will work again.

But will they ever make a film as good as this? The one everyone loved but no one came to see?

Story is a strange beast.

I love Story. All kinds of it. But most do not. You can see when you talk to that person who asks you what you're writing. If it doesn't have a lot of Robots Transforming -their eyes start to glaze over...

Yeah... that sounds nice.... and they disengage.

Its the story of an Irish busker who sings on the streets....

Glaze...

Great story. Engaging Characters. Great music. Universal acclaim.

No audience.

Where does that leave you and I?

Oh it doesn't affect me... everyone wants to hear my story about the homeless guy who became president....

Whatever.

It affects us all.

God forbid we actually write a great story. Get money. Get great actors. Get critical acclaim.

And listen to the crickets.

Maybe if they just sang Ms. New Booty...

Doovde

2007-07-25T09:46:00.000-04:00

Lots of employee issues the last few days.

I spend my time putting out fires.

And if you must know - here's a really funny one:

After spending four months on my latest show - that we finally got approved after months of trying - and I have recently sent out over 12 versions to different stations -

We found out today we needed to do another change.

It seems the repercussions of a certain American Starlet who has once again found herself in a difficult situation needs to be removed from our show and replaced with yet another starlet. Which means: Recut, remix, rewrite, retranslate, resubmit for approval, redo all versions.

Hmm.... a butterfly flutters its wings in California and changes the face of the programming in China.

And all I really wanted was a doovde...

Hey....

2007-07-22T20:21:00.000-04:00

Not even sure what to say bout it. Just watch it.

It's a Chinese thing...

2007-07-21T21:34:00.000-04:00

You wouldn't understand.

I've spent a lot of time in Asia. Starting as a kid - and continuing professionally as an adult. Every couple years or so - someone will find me and get me back over here doing some kind of film or TV work.

Not that I complain.

The majority that last 10 years have been in China.

Growing up I was in Taiwan and Hong Kong - and I thought there would be a lot of cross over between the two.

Not the case.

As a human being with natural curiousity - and as a writer - I am obsessed with people's thought processes. Why is it we do what we do? What were we thinking when we did it? What steps led us to believe that doing this was OK - or that we really had no other choice? Why do people who 90%of the time behave one way - suddenly decide to right turn and do something different?

This is even more interesting when applied to another culture.

And China operates as its own thing.

I've been here working on a show for quite some time. After making the companies, lawyers and clients happy in two different countries - we still had to pass a regulating board who has very specific rules that apply to the type of program we do.

After a back and forth of about 5 submissions - we got our approval. Two pieces of paper with big red stamps on them - one that was the letter of approval - one that is the script - showing nothing can be changed.

I immediately got a call from the Chinese office asking if I could go back in and replace some stuff that got cut out so that we could get approvals.

I asked "Isn't that wrong?"

Well - they will never know. And the approval doesn't talk about the shots - just the script. So how will they find out?

I've been fascinated with this back and forth ever since. When I asked them if they thought this was wrong to do - there was a lot of nervous laughter.

I asked my editor and graphics person if they thought this was wrong. They said yes.
I asked my assistant - and she said yes too - but also that "its just how it is."

When I first came to China - I was working for the Discovery Channel. I was negoitiating a shoot at Cho Ko Dien where the first Peiking Man bones were found. I sat down - all of 23 - in my shorts and T shirt - at a table with 7 smoking men all in their 50's and in suits. They tried to get me to pay $10,000 to film the bones.

I knew, like anyone who might have done even a second of research, that the real bones had sunk in a French ship back in the early 1900's. They wanted to see if I would pay that much to film replica bones I could buy anywhere for less than $100.

It's very easy to judge here by our western standards of honesty and ethics. But just cause you're trying to cheat the system - does that make them bad people?

It does make them harder to trust.

But I always try to look at things from their perspective.

Would the other shots make the show better? Probably. Would it be stronger? Yes.

In America - we're raised to believe one person makes a difference. Here - well - you remember that famous shot of the one person standing in front of a tank? And what happened to those people?

To get things done - you have to follow the cultural rules. Does that mean bribes? Yes. I haven't had to do it. But people around me have.

I was told - when you have a baby here - you give the doctor a "gift." One foreigner didn't want to do it. But the closer he got to his delivery - the more worried he got. What if something went wrong? What if the doctor was mad and didn't perform as well as he might have?

He gave a gift.

Part of the group think here is that as a society, we are cheated. We have been held down. Now we have a chance to get some - and we are going to do whatever we can to get it - and if that involves bending the rules - we shall bend them - because they were bent against us. It's a "everyone else is doing it, so why shouldn't I" type of thing.

Please know that these are the ramblings of a white man trying to make sense of something that he really knows not of which he speaks. This does not apply to all Chinese and is not meant to be some sort of blanket accusation of the culture.

But there's something here. Just not sure what.

I used to call it a short term disease.

In the West - we try to be honest in our dealings and give people a fair deal so that we can do future business. We take a long term view that if I do you good now - you will be back and we can continue to do good in the future.

Here - there is no future. Only now. So I better get what I can.

It's not about whats right and wrong - just about what I can get away with. And the rules are constantly in flux. I was told repeatedly when I got here - we don't break the rules - we bend them. There is the law - and there is what you can get away with.

You can see why its so hard for a lot of American companies.

I don't like to lie. But I know I do. I don't like to cheat. But I know I do.

Heck - I break the speed limit every time I get in the car.

I want to be an honest person. I want to be trustworthy in my dealings. Especially when I represent a company bigger than me.

I didn't change the shots.

But if that was the right thing to do or not?

Beats the hell outta me....

Thrilla in Manila....

2007-07-20T21:50:00.000-04:00

Talk about living the dream.

And people said it couldn't be done - but the Filipenos don't take no for an answer.

Who cares that they were in prison? Who cares that their idol should be as well. And if they didn't have a girl for the lead? Well - improvise, be-otch...

Anytime the man tries to keep you down - just take a look at this video and see how 1500 asian criminals respond to anyone trying to stop them from reaching for the stars.

How insanely cool is this?

Especially today.

On Harry Potter Saturday.

Even here in China - it's Harry Potter Saturday. There's a bookstore near here - and I think they'll actually have copies of the book. I'm going to go see today.

Woke up this morning - and had a nice little "lay in bed a bit longer and think about the story" morning. I've been noodling around with a non-linear idea for a month or so - just characters and themes that I like - jotting down scenes and places to go - but not at all sure yet what form the story takes place in - or what is actually going on.

Started out with a couple scenes this week. They felt good. Started to write themselves a bit.

Then I had a nice breakthrough today. Just laying there thinking about how all these people tie together - and it hit me.

I had the open.

So now I gotta write it.

Which gives me two things to look forward to: Harry Potter. Writing. No work. And another Video game party tonight.

So that makes four things.

And I'm going to be home at this time next week. Five things.

So if I find myself getting down or depressed?

More Thriller baby... :)

End of Week Two

2007-07-19T19:57:00.000-04:00

Friday here. End of week Two. Only one more week till I go home.

7 more days.

I can make it. I think. Just a bit more.

We have one show down - and one more on its way. We're getting closer.

But that still means I'll be back here in August. Still means I'll probably be here in September. We keep moving forward - but the progress is measured in inches - not feet. Certainly not in miles.

Wanted to write last night - but had a little video game party here at the house instead. It was supposed to be a little intimate group of my two assistants - but one of them invited her sister - who invited a co-worker - who invited a friend. And one of them brought their dog.

So it turned into something more.

It was supposed to start at 8. One came a little early. The next two came at 8:45. The next two came at 9:30.

One left at 10:30. The next two left at 12. The last two left at 1:30.

I just wanted to sleep at that point.

I'm sure my neighbors did too... :)

Strangely enough - as Iwalked one of my assistants out - she told me she's been really worried recently. She's a girl of all of 21 years old. Very smart - speaking two languages - Chinese and English - fluently.

She thinks she might have breast cancer and told me today she is going to the hospital with her mom. Not being an expert on the disease - I did tell her that she seems quite young to have this - and it doesn't seem like she should worry about it until she goes to her doctor.

But she was almost crying - and my heart was breaking for her. I told her I'd pray for her. Called my wife - who was on the road driving to Virginia to see her sick mother - and asker her to say a prayer for her as well.

Our bodies are a strange thing. Something we take for granted until they start acting up on us - and then sometimes we ignore the warning signs. A couple weeks ago - my wife started worrying that she had some form of arthritis. After a doctor visit and a blood test - it turns out she is fine. Thank God.

I pray that my friend will have similar news today.

Those were the days....

2007-07-17T20:36:00.001-04:00

Note: Please excuse all the spelling mistakes on this blog. For some reason - China doesn't like blogger and doesn't like me to log on to blogger. The only way to get here is through a proxy site in Germany or Amsterdam - and as such - everything is in German. I click and guess my way through the interface. When I go to spell check something - everything is listed as a mistake and all the suggested fixes have umglats in them... so... sorry... :)

Ooops. I did it again.

Although my glory days certainly never reached Brittany's heights - my fall has been quick and desparate.

I played basketball yesterday afternoon.

My old high school buddy who works in China called me up and asked me to come play ball. It's only about 10 minutes from the edit suite - so when we finished up - I went to join him.

Big mistake.

One: Outdoor court in the insane Chinese heat.
Two: All college guys and us.
Three: I suck.

At first - I was on a good team - meaning I had other people to carry me - so we won a few games. Quickly that changed and for the next 2 hours - I never won another game. Ever.

My knees hurt. I was tired. And even at my best I rarely if ever made a lay up.

Pitiful. Sad. And the reality of Middle age begins to stare me in the face.

By the end - the best I could do was get out of the way of the rest of my team.

Genius!

On the way home in the cab - the AC was cranked so high - I got a cold.

But I did get two and a half hours of exercise. And I did hit a couple nice shots. Enough to want to go back out and do it again.

After playing basketball for 20+ years - with all my injuries - it all comes back to what my coach said in high school about me and my friends...

"I see you guys playing basketball over there everyday. Don't see you getting any better..."

How true. But it does nothing to diminish the love for the game.

I was so inspired in my completely exhausted state - that I finally came back to the apartment and did some writing. Can you believe it? I can't.

And I actually like it. Don't know where its going - but that's usually my favorite part.

Now lets see if I can Lather. Rinse. And Repeat.

Off to edit....

The decomp room

2007-07-17T08:12:00.000-04:00

I spent the 90's in the morgue.

I thought about this today as I got in the cab here in Beijing.

Let me explain...

For close to 10 years I did crime. Crime shows that is...

All in all - I did a heck of a lot of murder shows. We would travel all over the country interviewing people about murders - then come back to the studio and recreate them.

I went from nightmares and intense revolusion to insane curiousity. How are we as humans capable of such atrocities? And after we're gone...what happens to the bodies?

Sometime in the middle of the different series - we started going to the morgue. Interviewing the coroner. So that means you gotta get some B-roll to introduce them. And that usually involves dead bodies.

At various times I have been locked in the freezer with the bodies, locked in the drawers the bodies slide out of, been zipped up in body bags that they swore to me were unused, and lifted out of coffins.

I've helped a coroner shave the arms of a dead man to look more feminine because there weren't any dead ladies there when we needed to film.

I seen things. Things I don't want to talk about.

And smelled things.

First time I went in a decomp room - I was in Texas. Decomp rooms are usually in rural areas where they have a lot of unused land. When a body sits out in the sun for a few weeks until someone stumbles upon it - they usually head to a morgue with a decomp room - because the smell is so bad - no one wants to take it to the morgue.

I was interviewing a Coroner who was a piece of work. She would come to work in shorts and sandles - and do all her autopsies that way - making sure to spray her legs off when she was done to get rid of all the bits of blood and brain and bones.

The story we did had a body found after three weeks in the Texas heat. So we shot her in the Decomp room. And did her interview there.

When she open the door - I felt as if I was hit in the face by putrid decay. I don't think I've ever smelled anything like it in my life and would be happy to never smell anything like it again.

My sound guy immediately turned around and vomitted.

The doctor just laughed.

And she told me something interesting. She said that the brain is pretty amazing. That if we just stood there breathing - in a couple minutes - we wouldn't even notice the smell.

I found it hard to believe. My sound guy never came in - I had to set his stuff up.

And sure enough - after a couple minutes - I didn't notice the smell. Maybe cause I was too distracted by the bodies in various states of decay....

But I thought of this today as I got into my cab.

For some reason - a lot of Beijing Taxi drivers almost live in their cabs.

And when they don't have customers - they eat something full of onions and garlic...and the stink that fills that cab - especially when its hot out and they turn the air on and lock that smell in - cooking in the sun...

I thought of the decomp room.

And I closed my eyes. Vomitted a little bit in my mouth. And breathed.

And it worked. :)

Thank you, decomp room...

All work and no play...

2007-07-16T10:53:00.000-04:00

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

sigh.

Good news, Bad news day.

Good news is we finally got approval from the governing commercial body of China that our first show can air. I am sitting here with the letters of approval to show for it.

Bad news is I still have two shows and two spots to go.

I'm at a point of total minutia. There is nothing left to do on the show except pick at it like a vulture. Change this color. Let's try this word instead of that word. Let's move this sentance here...

Just little picks... little tiny bites... and I feel as if they are eating slowly away at my very soul.

I need to be writing. I need to have something new to take me away from this silliness...

But instead I choose to play Godfather:Blackhand Edition on the Wii... I just moved from Capo to Underboss - and now I need to attack the compounds of the other four families... :)

And I watch bad movies. Like the Reaping. Or Captivity.

And decent TV like the Dresden Files.

No word from our offer to the big star... but I expect we will here this week. i watched one of his films this week. He's only done three or four...(He's a big name outside the film business...) and he really started kinda weak... but that was the character. He got better and better and actually had a couple really strong scenes. If he says yes - it will be a huge challenge... but if he pulls it off - he is really gonna have a career... So I guess I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If he says yes - it will really be a strange thing.

If he says no.... well... we make another offer.

And so on.

My fellow producer continues to rake in big credits. He has a trailer on Apple.com that he is an executive producer on - and it's no little film. Currently he's doing reshoots of a big film in New Mexico. He's trying to convince me that's where we should film.

I should be so lucky.

My wardrobe girl came to our weekly meeting last night. She is currently on a big Addidas commercial here. They are shooting 18 days for a 60 second spot. Go figure. Features have been shot in less. She was talking about how hard it was to get a good assistant. Everyone wants to be in the film business - but few are willing to put in the work and hours to actually do it.

It really is shocking to see how much work everything is. Down to the tiniest color tweak. It's almost like hazing for a frat. When they tie your junk to a rope - and the other end is a big rock and they throw it over the edge.

It takes a certain type. And we know how to recognize you. Except in LA - cause there are a lot of posers.

More and more - you come to realize that this is a craft. A craft that costs millions of dollars and its not at all about the parties and the stars - its about sweat and hard work and a lot of discipline. If you're not willing to put it in - we have no place for you.

On the other hand - its the greatest job in the world - and you can work with the coolest people in the world. All you have to give up is any semblance of a life and your soul.

Ok... maybe not all of your soul.... :)

Just most of it...

Now... I must write. I can write. I will write myself out of this hole...

Starting.....Now.....

How to get an Agent

2007-07-13T01:50:00.000-04:00

Ryan wrote out an email to our little writer's group the other day asking what was the best way to get an agent.

I've seen this question asked time and time again by people over and over. Before I had one - I asked it. Sad to say - out of our little group - while I am the most undeserving - I am the only one who has an agent. And I barely have one at that.

I remember coming out of film school and thinking that it would be easy to get an agent. After all - I was brilliant and it was only a matter of time before everyone else realized it. All I needed was an agent to tell the world.

I was a director - so I brought my reel and went to every agency I could find in LA and dropped one off. Never had a call. One place had me in for a meeting - and that was it. Nothing.

I went to meeting that had the writers of Batman Forever at it. People kept asking them how to get an agent - and they said - don't bring us your scripts. Just write something brilliant and the agents will come to you.

Arrogant dorks. The movie sucked and they sucked. I understand their point - but I completely don't believe it. If you have to be brilliant to get an agent - then how did I get one?

Truth is - for me - I wrote a script. Got it to some people I know. Started getting my own money behind it - and that made people pay attention. But not much. Then we ended up getting some attachments. I got a manager who was a friend from Film School who worked at a high profile company with two Academy Award winning directors. Even still - I couldn't get an agent. My manager had another writer repped by CAA - and told them who was attached to my script - and they still wouldn't read it. No one really cared.

And then an assistant to a development VP at Lion's Gate got my script. He loved it. And he asked if he could pass it to a couple of agents. And he did. And they started chasing me. They tried to get me work. And they did a good job. And finally I had agents.

But it wasn't my brilliant script.
It wasn't the money I had to do the film.
It wasn't my manager.
It wasn't the stars.
Maybe it was a combination of all those things.

But my point is that it wasn't just one thing...It ended up being a very round about way... and believe me - it wasn't about talent. Although that helps...It's just about the hype. If you can get people talking - then you can get an agent.

It's all air in Hollywood.

So how do you get an agent? I don't really know. Have my agents helped me? I don't really know....

It's chicken and egg.

Like anything in this business...you have to have something for them to sell. And not just something - it has to be something that people want. Or they think they want. And really - in my case - I still have to do most of the work.

If I wasn't a producer - pushing to get the script to people through my other producer - the movie wouldn't go anywhere.

Last month - my agents ignored my calls and emails. This month - once they heard that stars are reading it again - they called me 5 times. Now they have all sorts of "new ideas" for the script... :) go figure.

So if you think an agent will save you - forget it. An agent is great once you are a commodity that people want. It's your job to make people want you. You write the great scripts. You get people talking. You make the contacts that get you out there... and then the agent is perfect - cause so many people are chasing you that they can weed out the ones you don't wanna talk to and take all the credit and percentage of your sucess... :)

Or - if you're like me - you blow all the good will of your opportunities and go to China to do skin care commercials.

To be fair - my agents got me into 20+ meetings with various companies and studios. They got me chances to do takes on 4 different projects - and they could have had my film set up at a couple different companies.

But I had my own ideas.

Like toiling away in relative obscurity... :) But hey - I'm big in China...

So not to burst anyone's bubble... but the truth is - getting an agent is only one step. Getting your stuff out there is the first step. You hear time and time again that someone read something and wanted to buy the script - but the writer didn't have an agent and so the studio recommended someone - and then they got an agent.

The key is to make friends. Something that comes hard to writers. Make friends with people who are in the business. And get them your stuff. And keep going. Keep writing. Have a good group that screens your stuff first who help you make it the best it can be - and then get it out there. And don't wait. Keep on writing - cause the best part is that you can only get better... each script is hopefully a bit better than the one before...

So write.
Make Friends.
Get your stuff into as many peoples hands as possible.
And keep going. Don't quit.

And maybe one day everyone beats down your door and you make it big.

Or you end up in China...

Either way - as my dad says - there is no silver bullet. Everyone has to make their own way.

But don't give up. If an idiot like me gets an agent - you can too....

Actually getting paid to write?

That's a whole nother story....

Live Free...

2007-07-06T01:19:00.000-04:00

Now - with a new fourth verse!
(Language warning for those with sensitive ears...)

It's been wonderful being home for a week - and as each day ends I actually dread going back over to China more and more. I am really tired of being in that little room making tiny changes...

But it pays the bills and I don't want to seem ungrateful. But I am hungry for something new...

Yesterday and tonight I got to hang out with my good friend Shawn. Not only is he like a brother to me - he is, in fact, my brother in law. When we met, he was a punk kid and I was an older punk - and now we're both married with two kids.

We went outside my parents house yesterday and shot baskets - talking about how we used to play sometimes up to 4 or 5 hours a day. Now we got winded shooting... :) Granted - he still hits all his shots...

We went and saw Live Free or Die Hard tonight. After a bit of a slow start - I thought it was a blast. The movie rides entirely on the good will we have put into the John McKane character for three other movies - but who cares? Justin Long was great - and Bruce Willis was awesome. Three of four nice stunt sequences and a load of incredibly nonsense - coupled with the shortest drive times since 24 - and the movie was a heck of a lot of fun.

The theater wasn't too packed - so we had even more fun making comments through the whole thing like a couple of giggly schoolgirls.

With this and Transformers - I feel as if my childhood is returning.

All and all a great night.

One the movie front:

Wow.

We got turned down by the star we made our first offer too. Not sure if it was the money or the script - probably both. But today - we made another offer - and apparently the management of this new guy is really excited about the project.

We shall see. It's all funny that there is interest again in the show. Between the actors and a couple big production companies trying to track me down - I do get a bit excited... but I remember what it was like waiting for the phone to ring for two years and having the whole thing crash and burn around me...

So I ain't quitting my day job...

But it is nice to be in the game again...

More as it progresses....

More than meets the eye....

2007-07-03T20:34:00.000-04:00

How cool is it that cars transform into giant robots?

That is a real simple idea that just has such resonance. So stinking American that it took the Japanese to think of it...

I remember actually being in college and coming back to the lobby and watching the cartoon - back to back with GI JOE between classes. I thought it was hilarious... and fun.

When my son needed to be potty trained - I found a transformer - and each time he took a dump on the toliet - we got a new transformer. Now - years later - he has a ton of them and is still just as obsessed. We own every season on DVD and we still watch them.

While we were in China - we picked up the 20th anniversary of the the original Transformers Movie. He still laughs everytime Grimlock bites Megatron on the butt.

We have a thing about not letting our kids see movies till we've seen them first - unless they are PG or G. It was a bit of thing - the Transformers movie being PG-13. This kid has been following the development of the film for the last 2 years... so we broke the rules.

I woke up at about 7 last night. Jet Lag. My wife and kids had gone off to the park for a birthday of a friend. I called the theater to find out when the movie started today - cause I figured out we would head that way... but then I find out - they had shows on last night.

We all grouped up and headed over...

Sadly - there was problems with the projector and we didn't get to see the Cloverdale trailer. That sucks.

And my son was going crazy. Can't they just start the movie already? We waited about 20 minutes and then they finally got it going.

My boy was sitting with his mouth open for the whole thing. He would call out the names of each of the Transformers - often getting them wrong - cause they changed them so much - but he didn't care. He was so excited and happy...

He didn't want it to end.

My daughter - who only likes Transformers by proxy - said it was the best movie she had ever seen.

Me? I thought it was fun. Really fun. Shia is incredible. He is the real thing.

The robots are amazing. The way Jurrasic Park was amazing.

My son? This was his Star Wars. He's already ready to go back. He says he can't wait for part two.

I think I enjoyed watching him watching more than the movie. To see his amazement was way more than worth the price of admission... :)

Fear Factor

2007-06-30T20:07:00.001-04:00

Last night was truely historic.

For many reasons.

It was our last night in China as a family. Today we all hit the plane and head home. The family in Economy - me in Business. Hey... as Seinfeld said - once you've been upgraded - its so hard to go back... And if you've never been up... well... you don't know what you're missing... :)

Actually - my ticket was bought months ago and theirs just recently... and with 911 and all - there isn't the freedom to go back and forth between cabins anymore...

(at least that's what I'm telling them....)

So last night we had a big meal with all of my Chinese co-workers.

Star picked the restuarant this time. Star is very colorful and has been working with me on the editing. She is from Dong Bei - a northern province up near Korea - so she wanted to take us out for Dong Bei food.

It was pouring rain last night - thus difficult to get around in the city. Beijing runs on buses, bikes and subways - but when it rains - everyone wants a cab... and then it takes forever to actually get one. Last time it was raining that hard - I waited in the rain for over two hours till I finally got one.

Last night wasn't quite as bad - only a 30 minute wait.

The place was really cool. Sort of a rustic vibe - everyon was in traditional clothes - and lots of wood. Sort of like a Chinese Lone Star. We were on the third floor in a private room. At the top of the stairs was an old wooden cart being pulled by a stuffed deer. My kids immediately started petting it and wanting to get their picture taken with it.

Once in the room - the first thing I noticed was a big deer head adorning the wall. This was obviously part of the theme. While normally I take no hand in ordering - especially when there is someone who picked the restuarant and knows the cuisine - I did ask the waitress if they had venison on the menu. She said they did - so I had to order some.

Star did pass me the menu - and I also saw something that reminded me of the old Beijing days.

When I was here 98-99 doing our TV show, the American crew had a deal that everytime we ate out - we would order the strangest thing on the menu and everyone would at least try it. This lead to us eating camel, donkey, dog and sheep testicles.

Last night I saw a picture of these grubs on the menu. And I had to try it.

So we ordered it up.

The food was great - and every now and then - I'd grab a grub and shove it in my mouth. Ting Ting and Cho Shang also ate one every now and then. And Chris - Star's husband - ate a bunch as well.

My son kept asking a lot of questions about the grubs. What they tasted like. What they felt like when you ate them. Over and over. I finally gave him one cause he said he wanted to try it. I told him if he ate it I'd give him 5 bucks. He touched it, held it, thought about it a lot, asked more questions - and waved it in his sister face.

Finally - towards the end of the night - he ate it.

And then he started to dry heave.

But he kept it down. Most of it. He did spit out some of the shell. But he got his money.

And then -to my surprise - my daughter picked one up and shoved it down - all of it - without skipping a beat.

So they both walked out with cash in hand.

Bug Money, my son called it.

But it spends just as well as real money...

Now... to get ready for a long plane ride home....

Turning Japanese....

2007-06-27T19:49:00.000-04:00

Do you Wii??

So we've made an investment in future technology.

After waiting in Indy for our one and only store - Walmart - to get a Wii - we bit the bullet and bought one here in China.

It comes with the magic chip that lets you play all sorts of fake games that you can buy for the incredible price of a dollar.

But-

as with everything in life -

There is a catch.

Everything on the console is in Japanese. All of it. And there's nothing you can do to change the language except buy a new Wii.

But - the great thing about American ingenuity - my kids already know their way around the machine like a native speaker. They love it.

Which gets to my point.

How great is this thing?

If you like video games - you need to get one. This thing is something everyone can play - and the interactivity makes it that much more fun. Even the simpliest games are really enjoyable.

And you almost exercise while you play. Its really amazing!

On other news:

Nothing back from my actor offer.
Another exec at a nice company read the script and is really into it - has some more ideas on how to get more people involved...

I am sick of editing. I don't want to see another edit room in my life. And yet I still have 2 more days this week and then another 3 weeks next month. I want to cry.

At least I have the wii to come home to....

Oh yeah - and the family....

This one goes out to the one I love....

2007-06-24T18:09:00.000-04:00

Back in our Amish phase...
(we all went through it... you know you did...most of us burned the pictures though...)

It's my wife's birthday.

We're all the way over here in China - so it's her birthday 12 hours earlier than normal. My wife was born on her mother's birthday - how weird is that?

In a month and a half - we will be celebrating our 18th anniversary. Pretty strange...:) We have just passed that mark where we have known each other longer than we haven't. More than half of my life has been spent with this lady.

We met in college.

I remember seeing her in the "Who's new" book my Junior year and thinking she looked hot. (She still does...) All of us upperclassmen looking for the young and naive waifs we could approach and corrupt - or - in most of our cases - get shot down by....

My wife came to school with her high school relationship still going. How long did it take for her to end it? Not too long... :)

But the race is run to the swiftest... and in my case - I lost the sprint. She ended up going out with one of my good friends - probably my oldest friend - and I ended up in the "Ducky" role - the friend she comes to when there was problems. And my - how there was problems.

When it all went bad - who was there to fix the mess? You got it - Mr Rebound... :) Give me your defenseless, tired, weak and hurt - has always been my motto...

She just had one weird stipulation - she said she would only date me if I was interested in marrying her...sigh... cut to 18 years later and two kids later. (In a strange twist of fate - that same "Friend" ended up being best man at our wedding... :) Thanks Bill!)

My wife is the most creative, funny, beautiful, sexy woman I know. It has been my honor to have been her friend and husband for these past years. She has stood by me through some really crappy times and supported me and kicked me when I need it as well. While I will always love her - I actually like her as well. I can think of no one I love being around more, sharing things I find funny with, as well as the things that make me cry.

I have no idea how we found each other - but I feel so blessed to have shared in her life.

I can't imagine mine without her.

Happy Birthday Baby. I love you.

Why the Japanese will rule the world

2007-06-23T07:26:00.000-04:00

Enough Said.

Hey Shorty... It's your birthday...

2007-06-21T19:26:00.000-04:00

We gonna party like its your birthday...

Still in China. Still cutting the same three shows. Still making God Knows how many more changes to the same three shows...

But there is a little bit of action brewing back home.

My old film.

The one that I wrote to direct - moved my entire family halfway across the United States for - raised half the budget for - Got picked up by a mini-major and signed two big stars for - waited for said stars for almost TWO YEARS only to have one of them drop out at the last second and the whole thing crumble to dust around me - leaving me both morally and financially bankrupt....

You know. That one...

In the time since we were trying to get that film up and running - my producing partner has been busy doing real films. Big films. With big stars. And for some reason - he's hot on sending the script out again.

And we're getting reads.

We're not going to the A list guys. But still going to guys who are pretty high up there. Both of the most recent boys have been second leads in two of the big giant franchise films this summer. And they both are good actors.

To the point that we are actually making a money offer to one of them later today.

How ridiculous is that?

Of course - the manager's suggested quote was pretty silly - and we are going lower than that... but my partner was like - here's what we'll offer. I'll make some calls this afternoon and get the money and then make the offer tonight.

And the money is no child's play.

Things have changed.

While the biggest lesson I've learned is to never ever for any reason think a movie is going - even when you're green lit - even when you're sitting and making nice with big actors - even when you're on set - ready to shoot - never for one second think that the movie is going until you wrap shooting. Then you know...

So I know nothing.

But we are back out there. We are getting great response again from that old script. And money is about to be put against it again.

Go freaking figure.

Does make the sun shine today a little bit brighter... :)

Are you ready to Rock?!?

2007-06-20T20:15:00.000-04:00

We have seen this hairstyle at least 15 times since arriving in Beijing this trip.

I walk down the street and feel like I'm in a White Snake video.

My wife and I were having a little talk this morning.

Yesterday - the whole family came to work with me. While I edited away - the kids played their PSP's and the wife took a nap. But we went out to my favorite noodle stand for lunch and had a feast.

On the way back - there were a group of workers gathered in front of two shops - a small printers and an ATM. While people were going in and out of the shops - there was a couple workers up on top of the roof - about 2 stories up- and a group gathered on the ground.

The two guys on the roof were busy throwing down large heavy sharp RUSTY sheets of metal to the ground below. No one was telling anyone to not go in and out of the shops. No safety tape was set up. Nothing.

The only warning you would have would either be the crashing of large siler death slapping itself on the pavement - or the screams of victims as they witnessed the large metal objects and they cut through their torsos.

Once the pieces hit the ground - different guys would pick them up and walk away.

This is the funny part.

What disturbed my wife was that they weren't using gloves.

She was worried about the safety of their hands.

I believe I've related the story here of my old Chinese producer friend who - when confronted by an article that said 100,000 Chinese men a year will die from lung cancer starting in 2000- said - Well, there are a lot of Chinese.

Its a different way of thinking, people. It ain't America.

But whatever you may think of the way people think or treat their customers - there is one place where everyone can be a kind for a day.

The Hair Salon.

I took my daughter last night to get her hair cut while I got mine cut. Last time I went here - I filled out a bunch of paperwork and was given a VIP card. So the first thing they do is put you in a big smock and wash your hair.

Like three times.

And give you a head massage.

Then they put on Conditioner.

Then they wrap you up again in new wraps and give you something to drink. And a plate of snacks.

Finally - they start cutting your hair.

And while they cut - a girl stands by with a foam pad to gently brush off the stray hairs that fall on your face.

Once the cut is done - and it's never taken less than 40 minutes - even when you have as little hair left as I do - they take you back and wash your hair again - getting all the loose hair off.

That's what it feels like to be given the VIP treatment. Makes you wanna sing.

As a side note:

Its interesting to see my daughter become a little lady. She is so no nonsense right now. Doesn't think a lot about what she wears - as long as its comfortable. She'll wear some of my wife's T shirts if she can. Doesn't like people to fuss over her. Doesn't like to take a shower or brush her teeth... :) Nothing.

But here - she's enjoyed the attention. She loved getting a massage. She really liked everyone fussing over her getting a haircut - even though she thought the cut was too short - and she even wanted me to get her a dress - tailor made...

What is going on!?!?

Growing up, I guess.

At least she still loves baseball. And computer games. She's still my little girl. At least for now...

Till she discovers Whitesnake....

Pappa said it won't hurt us...

2007-06-18T20:36:00.000-04:00

Wow. How the world has changed.
We even have to label the stunts in commercials as dangerous and your car is not meant to be driven that way.

It's been kinda crazy.

I've been coming back and forth to China since 1994 - before I had kids. For the last year, I've been coming back and forth on my own. Now - the wife and kids are here and I get to experience everything again for the first time.

It's been really fun.

Seeing how they see things.
Seeing what they think is gross.
Seeing how they react to things they have never seen.

For the most part - they've done me proud.

My wife is a trooper too.
She is normally a homebody and pretty introverted in new situations. Especially in a culture where she doesn't speak the language - but where everyone assumes that she does and looks to her to speak for all of us.

How strange when it's the white guy who whips out the language and drops some knowledge.

Ivy doesn't like to go out and mix it up with people in Indiana - much less the people in China. But she took the kids to a waterpark yesterday. Even though it was grimy, kind gross and full of bugs - she did it. She said it was almost empty - but they did have a live band playing Coldplay the whole time.

So that made it all worth it.

For her to go - she has to get a magazine that talks about the place she wants to go. Then she has to go over to the hotel and show them the magazine and explain she wants help writing out the address in Chinese. Then she has to go get a cab and show him what the hotel guy wrote - hoping against hope that he will take her and my kids to the right place. And then after they get there - reverse the process to get home.

Any bump in the road and she has no idea what to do. But she did it. A regular modern day Marco Polo if you ask me... :)

The kids were exhausted when they got back last night - but we still went for a walk to have some Thai Food for dinner. We ate outside on rattan chairs - and the waiters brought out big pillows for the kids. They propped themselves up and almost fell asleep.

I sat there thinking that these memories they will have for the rest of their lives. They are probably the only kids in their entire school who have ever been to China. How great to have an opportunity like this.

I hope they remember it.

No longer Forbidden

2007-06-17T20:46:00.000-04:00

They may have a 6000 year head start on us - but all it took for my kids to destroy the Forbidden Palace was 20 minutes.

Yesterday was Father's Day - and what better way to celebrate than to visit one of the top world's historical landmarks.

The Forbidden City was constructed in the 1400's and housed about 24 different emporers. Till the last one. And we all know how that ended.

We decided to leave early and try to beat the rush - so we got out of the house about 8 to get there by 8:30 when it opened.

It was a good idea.

By 8:20 I'd say there were at least 1 million tourists everywhere. Or that's how it felt. It was insanely crowded. And getting hot quickly. The whining started before we even set one foot inside history.

The only way I could think to keep them engaged was to say it was like being inside a live action Avatar Movie. That got my son excited enough to start kicking the locals as they passed.

Actually - the kids did pretty good. A lot of the palace is under reconstruction - and it is massively big. We literally walked around it for over three hours. It wasn't like we were stopping and sitting around either. Just walking.

They were hot and thirsty - but hung in there. In the end - I think it will be something they'll always remember. Maybe not as much as the Jacuzzi - but it will be up there.

As far as jet lag goes - they're doing better. They stayed up almost all day - then crashed about 7 last night and slept till almost 7 this morning. That's a new record.

As they all slept - I watched the rest of season two of the Wire - and jumped back into season three. I still say its the best show you've never seen.

Back to work today. Leaving everyone here all by themselves. We'll see how they fare...

A little taste of home

2007-06-16T04:48:00.000-04:00

Nothing like coming all the way to China only to fall back on the warm and familiar.

Todays big trip:

Walmart.

We needed groceries. So we all went out in the heat and walked to Walmart.

Chinese Walmart.

Which is just like American Walmart - except with more Animal parts. More stinky fruits. More Tofu. More samples.

We walked over there - about a mile - but with the kids it felt like 10 miles. Jordan explained to me that once, he ran for an entire day. I asked him a few questions about the validity of his statement - and he responded - well, if you don't believe me, I'd like to see you prove it's not true. I smell a budding lawyer. Now I know how Alex Keaton's parents felt...

Jordan was upset all morning about a papercut he got from a popcorn bag and Jade was ticked cause my wife made her wear shoes instead of sandals cause its so dusty and dirty on the roads. Between the two of them, it was like a typoon blowing a set of windchimes that only make a whining sound.

I will say again without hesistation that there is nothing as hard as being a parent. I will take all the changes that the US and China has to offer before I tell my wife to just tough it out.

Last night, while I played ball - Ivy and the kids slept. They all woke up and got moving about 10 at night - where I decided to take them over to a place called THE PLACE. The Place has the largest video screen in the world. Bigger than Vegas. The kids were really excited to see it. By the time I got them all out of the house and over there - for some reason unbeknownst to me -

The screen wasn't on.

They want to try again tonight.

We ended up on a back alley tour of local places near the hotel. We found a great place to eat at 11pm and had salmon and a kind of chicken stew. Afterwards, we bought a bag of small mangoes - about 10 of them - for 2 bucks.

Its hard to figure exactly how far to take the kids on this journey into China. Part of the excitement for them is actually being around their dad for more than a week a month - and part is just being someplace new. But until they're over their jet lag - I'm not pushing them too far or they will start pushing back.

Guess we'll just take it a step at a time.

Step one - Jaccuzi.

Step Two - Walmart.

Step three - ......?

We're putting the band back together!

2007-06-14T18:53:00.000-04:00

Family is all here and accounted for.

(BTW - I'm the "big boned" one... )

Picked everyone up at the airport about 530 AM yesterday.

My son was so excited - he literally jumped every step. Not walked. Jumped.

I got them back here to the apartment - and my wife - dead exhausted - fell into bed. Traveling with two kids for 24 hours can do that to you.

I took the kids on a little tour. We had some hot passion fruit green tea at my favorite tea shop. We went and bought a couple more bootleg kids films. We went to the grocery store and got some Mango juice. And we checked out the health club in the hotel.

I asked my kids - if you could only do one thing while you're here in China - what would it be.

My daughter immediately said - The Great Wall!

My son said - Jaccuzzi!

Go figure. His colors bleed true...:)

I took my daughter to work with me and she watched our graphic artist do her magic - wiping out a zit on the chin of one of the actresses... She was quite impressed.

After work - they all crashed in the afternoon while I went down to the gym and worked out. Last night - we went for Chinese and drank a huge Coke - a no no in our house - and then did the very American thing of buying some memory cards for the PSP's.

We got back to the house and - at 10:00 at night - did what any good parent would do. Made a young man's China dream come true.

Jaccuzzi. And he couldn't have been happier.

China Day One. Go figure.

Reuntied...

2007-06-12T19:12:00.000-04:00

and it feels so good....

Just got off the phone with my wife. They are getting on the plane in Ft. Wayne.

That means:
27 minute flight to Chicago.
One hour layover.
Four hour flight to LA.
Three hour layover.
14 hour flight to Beijing.
Arrive here tomorrow morning to much celebrating and rejoicing at 5 am.

How cool is that?

I hope my kids don't have continuous breakdowns on the flight so that we can be "those" people with "those" kind of kids...

My son has only been on a plane once - when we spent the summer in Puerto Rico. This is gonna be a really long flight for him. My wife has done the typical - do everything that need to be done in the last 24 hours packing thing - and so she is gonna be exhausted.

And then they'll arrive here completely at odds with the timezone - its exactly 12 hours different - so they are gonna be screwed up. Until its time to go home - and then they'll be great and screwed up at home...

Brilliant!

And please...my last post didn't included anyone in my writing circle. But we all feel the same way under the mask - a fraud and a failure - when we sadly know that so little of what we write actually determines our failure or success.

That's a great idea for a post, David. As a producer and head of development of some major cable series - talk a bit about how little "talent" actually matters when you hire writers...

There's a meeting going on at the post house this morning - so I'm gonna do what I never do...

Actually try to write.

Nachooooooooo!

You can't handle the truth

2007-06-10T19:49:00.000-04:00

Does anyone really want the truth?

I know there are times I do and times I don't.

When it comes to any kind of creative venture - the truth is hard to pin down. The truth - more often than not - usually is just opinion. But when the opinion gets echoed by lots of people - its probably getting closer to the truth.

I remember the very first short film I wrote and directed in College with a high school buddy. We turned our dorm floor lobby into a set - moving our rooms in there so that we had the space to film. We did all the editing in camera - reshooting over the top of the previously bad take. We both starred in the film - along with two girls who we thought were cute.

I remember taking it home to show my family - and they couldn't sit through the first five minutes without talking about other things. They never made it through the whole 30.

Later - I made another short. A spoof. Very well recieved. Everyone loves to laugh.

I was so encouraged - I made a film that seems to be one thing - but then turns at the end into something very different. And very depressing. And I remember that no one liked it. And the whole school witnessed this one. I was told later the movie was very popular with the " Oingo Bongo" crowd.

Now - after years of failure and some success - I feel as if I have a bit of a built in gauge against failure. But I also have a team of people I send my stuff to before I sent it out. They are my trusted friends who actually write. We all read each others stuff and try to help a brother out.

When I taught a class on writing - big mistake - I told people to take criticism with a grain of salt. Everyone feels as if they need to say something... and if more than one person says the same thing - you ought to think about it... but in the end - you want to listen to yourself and do what you think is the right thing. No one has spent more time with something than you.

But what if you are blinded by the simple fact that your stuff sucks?

Then you are sliding down a slippery slope.

There aren't a lot of people in this business that fail their way to being writers. There are plenty of producers and directors and executives who took that path - but not a hell of a lot of writers. Its hard work. Disciplined work. Creative work. And in the end - its hard to dish blame on someone else when your name is on the paper.

When I see something that sucks - I really have a hard time saying it. Cause I know how it feels to put myself out there and fail. Even now - when I've made my living doing this for close to 20 years - I hate to have someone start in by saying - there are a few problems....

But what can you do?

Get better.
Try to listen to every criticism without ego or emotion or excuse.
Keep writing.
Read about writing. Watch movies. Read great authors. Spend time coming up with good ideas.

Write. Write. Write.

Rewrite. Rewrite. Rewrite.

Find good friends and help them as they help you.

And each day that you work - you'll find you suck a little less. Or you'll quit.

And that... for better or worse...as much as I don't want to hear it myself... is the truth.

And even I can't handle it.

Nachoooooo......!

2007-06-09T23:11:00.000-04:00

How great is this?

A year and a half ago...dear God, has it been that long since I flushed my career down the toliet?...I met with a development exec from New Regency over a pet project of hers. She liked my script and handed me a short story that she wanted developed into a film.

It was a crazy story - written by a great modern author. One whose books I had already read. But it was a crazy crazy story. One that would defy most adaptations. And one that would almost be unfilmable.

We met in this really cool bookstore in Venice Beach. The producer, a really great producer she assigned to work with me, and me. The producer she assigned has gone on to set up films all over the place. He is a great guy and every now and then still throws me a bone - that in my brilliance, I usually let lie dormant until he moves on to someone else.

The bookstore was having a photography exhibit of Luchadore photos. How great is that? In my film- the bad guy had a Luchadore mask.

From what little I understand about Luchadores - they would fight each other - and the winner would unmask the loser at the end of the fight. The older you got without getting unmasked - the greater your prowess and fame.

Fascinating concept. How much do we fear each day being unmasked and the truth of who we really are being exposed? Scary.

Speaking of being slapped in the face with reality - I went to the big Howie B show last night. I got there at 9:30 and the show was to start at 10. I left at midnight and we were still in the middle of the third DJ and no sign of Howie B. The first guy did hip hop - and was cool. The second guy did sort of an industrial sounding techno - and he filled the floor. I liked his music - but just stood on one side watching everyone else.

The third guy had a very stripped down set of mostly beeps and clicks and after about a half hour - I had enough and came back to the apartment. At least I got out of the house.

How sad is it when my mask comes off and all that is revealed is a cynical old man who grows more boring each day...?

Tonight - I'm going to a play! I haven't done that in a long time. Its an original production - written by a girl who works at the US embassy here in Beijing. It's called I heart Beijing. We'll see how she does - but it sounds fun.

Maybe I'll go as a Luchadore.

Lost in Translation

2007-06-09T07:54:00.000-04:00

I can never figure it out.

I'm certainly not Scarlett Johansen - the young photographer's wife - left alone and adrift in the big city.

And I'm not Bill Murray - the aging actor, shooting a product he doesn't care for - hanging out in hotel bars....

Oh yeah... wait a minute... I do have the aging part down...

All I have to say is - thank God for Veronica Mars and bootlegs from China...

Almost done with Season three now. Still trying to figure out what the CW has against great characters and smart writing. It does make me smile - even when I've been locked up in my apartment all day.

It's Saturday here. I've been here almost a week.

We've been revising the old show. The one that was supposed to be done. But it's not.

I actually sat and counted how many levels of approvals I have to pass per show.

Three managers in San Francisco
One manager in Los Angeles
Three managers in Shanghai
Two lawyers in Los Angeles
Two lawyers in Beijing
One Commercial regulating agency in Beijing
Every single TV station we air on.

That's right. Different than America - every TV station has a right to edit content as they see fit. And they all have different internal regulations. So we get to do a new cut for EACH AND EVERY ONE.

We're getting closer to the end of the food chain.

We've passed the first 5 steps. We should have a new cut for the regulating agency this week. We shall see.

In the meantime - the new show is sort of festering. Doing nothing. Like me.

I did go play ball last night - against my better judgement. My knee has really been acting up. Getting old and my body is turning against me. But there were a lot of people. More than have ever been there. It turns out we had enough to field two teams - so I only played every other quarter - and my knee did fine. It hung in there enough to let me walk back home.

It was so nice not be stuck in an editing suite all day that I did myself one better and stayed in the apartment all day watching my own TV. How's that for living it up in the big city?

I'm coming up on my one year anniversery of traveling back and forth to China. Sigh.

My family does come here this week. Should be exciting. Even though I work all day - it will be such a great experience for the kids. Something new and something they'll always remember. I hope.

Tonight - I am breaking my self imposed exile from the real world.

A club within walking distance of the hotel is hosting Howie B - who produced for Bjork, U2, Massive Attack and Garbage. While I am not the club going type that I once was - it will at least be diverting. And it gets me out of the house...

But first... another episode of Veronica Mars...

Everytime I think I'm out...

2007-06-05T20:06:00.001-04:00

They puuuuuullllll me back in.

So I guess I just thought I was done.

Oh yeah... I'm back in China.

Went in yesterday to start back in on my new show - when I found out the old one still has a lot of work. It's not enough to get clearances from SF and LA and Shanghai - we also gotta clear the Commercial board of China - and legal - and then every individual station.

So its almost like starting over.

New graphics.
New voice over.
New rules.

And - like the domino it is - it all effects my next show.

Did I say how much fun this is?

On the cool side - at this time next week - my family will be on their way here. I think. My wife called the passport place today to make sure everything was on the up and up and they said the kids stuff was in process... but did she send her passport? My wife reminded them that she did... and they did the real quick...

yeah... um. let me call you back....

and never did.

So I hope that they will be on their way.

And one more - for all of you who've been around since my movie fell apart...

It still lives!

Talked with one of the producers last week. He was sending it out to some more people. We hit one of the names that has been top of my list for awhile - since the beginning really - and told them about the project and about our troubles with a certain actor. Funny - they said - we went through the same thing with him on another project. Go figure. So they're reading the script now.

As well as others.

We talked about scaling back and trying to do it for pennies on the dollar again...

I just want to do something else... so that sounds deliscious to me... but I'm not counting any chickens.

Funny to think that two years ago - while I was slowly starving and putting in all that work - I had a film green lit and ready to go. Now here I am in China - and yesterday I got a call from Shawn - my longest producer - who was in Norway -making real bank.

The world changes and the world stays the same.

Back to the world of ridiculous change though. Gotta start cutting again... :)

Dentist, Day 2

2007-06-01T04:40:00.000-04:00

My Dentist don't mess around.

I arrive - and he has me in the chair within two minutes.

There is a sticky note on the instrument tray that has my name and exactly what he needs to do.

By minute three - there are two Q-tips full of mysterious gel sticking in my cheeks where I am about to be given shots.

By minute 5 - Dentist grabs his giant needle - and jerks my head to the side while he says the same thing he said yesterday - "Doesn't hurt as much when you go slow. Don't worry. We haven't killed anyone....this week."

I don't smile. His fingers are in my mouth.

Then he leaves.

My dad says he goes to his office and plays video games. I wouldn't know. I sit still for 3 minutes - letting the drugs run their course as I fight back the panic.

Then he returns and starts the drill.

I made some sort of mistake. I had the new Arcade Fire CD playing on my ipod. And it just wasn't loud and continuous enough to block out the sound of the drill. I quickly started scanning through the artists to try to track down the new Spoon CD.

Whoops.

He tried to shove the drill in - and I said something like...

Wahhha mimmmmummm

I meant to say

Wait a minute...

He sat back, exasperated.

"Hurry up. We're on a schedule here!"

Wow. Superdentist must have been in a real hurry to get back to that solitaire game.

I found Spoon - closed my eyes and went to my happy place.

I was in and out in under 30 minutes.

He's McDentist. Faster than the speed of light.

Silly really.

Came home and passed out again. Woke up in time for the art show at the place where my daughter takes lessons. The artist has a gallery on the lake - and teaches two adult classes and one kids class. My kid was the only one showing tonight.

She is really great - as any good parent would say... :)

But the thing I love about the class is that art is more than putting pen or brush to paper... its about how you see the world. Just to think of things in terms of color and shadow - it opens up a lot. Don't know if she will stick with it or not - but I love to see how she processes what she learns...

And Cleveland kicks Detroit in Game 5. Double Overtime. How you like that?

Back to writing.

Yuck Mouth

2007-05-31T01:14:00.000-04:00

You know what's great about coming home?

You get to do all the stuff you should have been doing while you were gone - except that you have one week to do them all. So now all the expectations are really high that you will accomplish all the most important tasks while you are at your sleepiest.

So here's something fun.

After almost 20 years as a freelancer paying my own insurance - which is usually a lot of money for little benefits - I am now considered an employee.

Can't you tell from the footprints on my back?

But as an employee you get benefits. Like Medical. And optical. And life. Retirement.

And Dental.

My benefits started in March. But since March - I have been in China.

So I have yet to use any of them.

As a kid - I hated the dentist. I don't really remember anything crazy - like a guy chasing me around with a drill and no Novocaine or anything like that. I just never liked it. Probably due to the drill. And shots. And the fact that I always had cavities...

Yeah. Maybe the last one.

So as I got older and had to pay for the dentist myself - I simply chose not to go. Not very much anyways. I did have my wisdom teeth pulled. And I would usually do the once every three years whether I needed it or not type of thing.

But when we broke away from Discovery and went on "Sabbatical" to do the movie - I was slowly going broke. We sent the kids to the dentist- but I never went.

A year and a half ago - I broke a tooth. Snapped off a corner. But I didn't go to the dentist. For a year and a half.

So I finally went. And it really wasn't so bad. But I had to come back two more times. One to fix the broken tooth. One to fill two cavities.

So today was Day One.

But this is a really cool dentist. He gives me drugs. I got to take Valium.

I really didn't care what he did to me.

I was up all night last night working - and worrying. But at 8:30 AM I took a little yellow pill - and put on a goofy smile. Shawn had lent me his Bose Quiet Comfort 3 headphones to test out - and I brought those with me and plugged them into my ipod.

While I did have to crank the volume up pretty high - I could barely hear the drill.

I was in and out in about 25 minutes. I came home - laid down - and slept for 7 hours straight. UNHEARD OF!

Tomorrow I go back.

And I have another yellow pill....

Maybe it pays to be a yuck mouth... :)

That kind of day

2007-05-29T23:25:00.000-04:00

What's the deal?

I know I'm getting older - but what is up with me?

Film is one of the most stressful businesses in the world. Everything comes together at once - with a million details all needing to be done immediately - and I can do it. I actually love it. I thrive on it. There is nothing I enjoy more than devoting myself to the focus of pulling off a shoot.

So why do I freak out over silly stuff now?

Part of it could be that I'm operating on minimal levels of sleep.
Coupled with the fact that I am trying to serve two masters - work and family - while I'm home. Work emails me and expects me to respond immediately - and my kids see me home and expect me to join them immediately - and I just want to sleep... cause when the sun is out - its night in China....

I've been working on getting my family to be able to join us in China. As it stands - I gotta go back for most of the summer. This trip is gonna be 4 weeks. That's way too long.

My company saw it was cheaper to fly my family out coach than to fly me home business... So it's all good for us. But they just finalized the tickets this weekend. So that means I have two weeks to get Visas and passports.

So today I get on the phone at 9 with the passport service.

I stay on hold for 45 minutes.

They tell me its gonna be $980.
I feel as if my head exploded. And this is the cheap service.

I spend the entire afternoon filling out their online paperwork. I usually consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent guy. And someone who has a heck of a lot of international travel experience. But I was having all sorts of trouble.

I put another call in with a question.

54 minutes on hold.

Once I have all the papers done and printed out - I have to go to the Post office to have them witness everything - sign the papers and have them put everything in a sealed envelope.

But here - the Post office is not where we are supposed to go. It's the court house.

And its 4:10 now. The court house closes at 4:30.

Luckily we are in a small town - so we cross town quickly and get there at 4:20. There is a big sign that says "No passport processing after 4:15." But - we had really nice city workers - and they helped a brother out. We rushed out of there at 4:45.

Now we had to go by the only place that sends out Fed Ex's in our town. They sign on the door - under a big FED EX sign says that stop at 6:00. We had an hour.

We realized we needed one more pic of each kid for their China Visas. And the passport place needs you to call back in and go over everything on their checklist before they give you the address to send off the stuff.

So Ivy drops me off - and I run down to the computer and get the number.

43 minutes on hold.

During the hold time - I realize that Ivy needs another picure too. We have no land line anymore - so I go to the neighbors and ask them to call Ivy and have her get a picture too.

I hope that she heads straight for Fed Ex - cause I can't call her to tell her to go there since I'm still on hold.

At 4:45 - and still on hold - I gather everything up and jump in the car. Literally seconds after getting on the road - they pick up. And they want me to start reading stuff off the forms.

I explain that it really sucks that we are paying almost a THOUSAND DOLLARS US and can't get anyone on the phone. I get worried that I will lose the connection as I go under an overpass - but somehow manage to speed through it OK.

Ivy starts calling me on my cell. Its blinking through - but there is no way I wanna lose the passport lady - so I ignore her. I hope its not an emergency and I hope she is not heading home - but instead heading over to Fed Ex.

I finally convince passport lady that I have all the forms - and she starts to give me the address of where everything needs to be mailed. I am writing with a Sharpie on the back of an envelope - WHILE I AM DRIVING.

I pass Walgreens. Ivy and the kids are no where to be seen. Hope this works out...

I fly to Fed Ex. As I pull in - passport lady realizes that she gave me the wrong address. I scribble out the right one and we blow in.

5:56.

We need to do a Fed Ex.

Um... Fed Ex stops at 5.

THEN WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE A BIG FED EX SIGN THAT SAYS 6:00 ON IT?!?!?

Um... that's the time we close...

I want to cry.

Ivy asks if there is any way we can still make it. The lady has to call the owner - and apparently - there is another drop box - but she isn't allowed to let it go there after you pay here...

But thanks to my wife - we convice her that we can deliver it ourselves.

So we pack everything up and are about to leave -

when I realize that I haven't let Ivy sign her forms. We open everything back up and sign the forms - then seal it again. And then we send it out.

And I find out that we're still missing a form.

I give up. Real life is way harder than the movies....

Family Time

2007-05-28T00:52:00.000-04:00

Nothing says "I love you" more than a quick game of ring around the crocodile...

I'm home. And trying not to sleep.

I hung out with my son playing Lego Star Wars.
We watched Transformers.
We watched a cat eat with a fork.

I laid next to my daughter as she explained why she had no clothes she liked in a room full of clothes.
I listened to her talk about which of her paintings she wants to show at the art show this week.
We read the story of the little girl and the Sea Monster. She giggled manically when the little girl gets eaten.

I sat with my wife.
Cleaned up the house a bit together.
Listened to the Kevin Smith/Scott Mosier Podcast together. Laughed like fools.
Watched the final episode of Lost - even though she swore she wouldn't.
Smiled at each other across the room - catching each others eye in a room full of people and remembered why we like each other.

Ate pizza with my parents.
Just hung out and smiled.
Watched a movie together. Just enjoying being there.

Played outside with my dog.
Through her rubber chew toy while she chased it.
Crashed in my bed in the middle of the day - with her curled up next to me.
Went out to eat breakfast with the family - while she she guarded the drivers seat of the van - leaning out to lick passerbys...

Went to my oldest friend's house tonight.
Ate hot dogs and chips.
Played Wii and got my butt kicked in Boxing all three rounds by my son.
Got beat at everything else by Shawn.
Sat and talked shop - just enjoying speaking English with a great friend.
Remembered what its like to be social.

Dear God - it is so good to be home.

Crushing blows...

2007-05-23T19:30:00.000-04:00

There are two social events that I actually enjoy while I'm here in Beijing.

One is playing basketball on Friday.

While my knee is telling me that that is a short lived joy - I still go, writhing in pain the next two days - limping along like a senior citizen.

The other is quiz night at Bar Blu.

Now I am not a huge fan of games. I used to be. Back when I was younger, sillier, and more social. Now I prefer a quiet evening at home.

But something about getting together and going out and answering a bunch of really hard trivia is fun for me. We usually have a mulitinational team - and the quizmaster is British - so the questions rarely have an American bent. And Jade's sister and her friend Ryan work all week at editing stories from around the world for the magazine they work for - so we usually ace the current events round.

I get thrown the Movie, TV and Music stuff.

After three second place victories - two of them lost by tie break - we finally scored a First place the last time I went.

So we hadn't been back in a month or so.

But this week was a theme week. Movie week. So I was requested.

Problem was - no one else came. Just Jade, her sister, and their English friend.

Five Chinese friends who didn't speak a word of English.

And me.

So I was really it.

All the other teams had at least 7 or 8 people - and one team had about 15. A lot of them older. And that would certainly help as the majority of the questions were about old films.

Round one:

Picture round. A still from 10 films. I immediately recognized Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Fargo, and one more. But that literally was it. Two black and white films - If and Scum. Never seen or heard of them. El Topo was one - but I've never seen that. Another from Australian film Walkabout. And one from Labyrinth - which Jade's sister wrote as Dark Crystal. The only modern film was a still from Wind that shakes the Barly. I knew Cillian Murphy... but had no clue what the movie was...

Final score: 3

The team with 15 people smarter than me? 8

Round Two:

General movie knowledge:

Don't remember much from here - but I got 7 right. No help from anyone else...

Team smarter than me: 8

They are 5 ahead.

ROUND THREE:

Classic film.

Dear God. This is world series of trivia tough. Questions like who played the Bride of Frankenstien in the 1935 film. What David Lean film based on a play by Noel Coward was about a woman falling in love with another man on a train?

We got 4.
They got more.

They are ahead. But we moved from the middle of the pack to 2nd place.

ROUND FOUR:

Movie music.

I suck. Just to throw that out there. They are picking really random themes if you ask me.

To give you an idea of how random - the drunk enlish guy on our team perked up for the first time and screamed - I know this! That is the theme to Candyman!

And then he started to sing along.

Now, in their right mind - no matter how obscure you would be - if you were picking 10 scores to try to get people to figure out - when in the world would you ever pick a score from a really bad 90 film like Candyman?

But the kid was so excited - and he hadn't answered a question all night - and I had no clue what it was anyway - that we went with it.

I can't tell you how bad I wanted that answer to be right. Just for the fact that if it was - there could be no one else in that room that night that could have gotten it. It would just be too bizzare.

He was right. :) That made my night. Win or lose. To see that broken tooth British smile break out on that guy's face made the night... :)

4 points.
We are going into the last round 12 points behind the 1st place team - 2 points ahead of the third place team.

There is no way to win. Jade and her sister are already resigning themselves to wine - since first gets vodka... :)

ROUND 5:

Current Movie News.

I kick ass. 10 out of 10 and actually get awarded the bonus point on debate.

Doesn't matter. We take second again - and the girls are upset that I didn't come through... but it was literally me against the room.

Except for one shining moment... when a kid with a dream in his heart, a cigarette in his hand, and a near empty glass of something....

Screamed out:

I know this one!

And by God, he did. Kind of like a Chinese Billy Elliot story...

Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyman. Candyma-

Digging to China

2007-05-23T07:02:00.000-04:00

Remember in the cartoons?

Like you could dig to China?
Or run off a cliff and keep running in thin air as long as you didn't look down?
Or that if you blew up - it only blew up your clothes - and made you dirty?
Or that when you're really hungry and you look at someone else - they turn into a steak?

Be nice if life was like that.

Got a good news bad news today.

Bad news is I need to be in China for a month to finish this next cut. So I'll go home for a week and then have to come back for four straight.

Good news is - company will pay for my family to come out and spend part of the summer here.

Bad news is - my wife's mom is really sick - possibly with cancer - and she needs help. So she is most likely headed there instead of here.

Bad news wins.

Not at all like the cartoons. Unless there are some really sucky cartoons I never knew about.

Editing is still progressing. Ready to throw in the towel yesterday - but today is better.... starting to see a show in there somewhere. Still have some impossibly tight deadlines that I just don't see us making... but I am diligently forging ahead as best we can - smiling with that American can do attitude.

Sent a rough scene to Shanghai the other day. It was a four mintue rough cut of a scene that really shouldn't run any longer than 1 to 1 and a half minutes.

The big guy there wrote back and said he didn't like it.

It was too long.
Boring.
Needs to be cut down.

Sigh.

What does it take to make people understand this process?

Changes here get tricky.

I was using a byte from our celeb to open the show. Then we realized it really is just too long. So I rewrote it as a voice over. Then I sent it to one of my assistants to translate - emphasizing that we need it to sound good in Chinese. Who cares about the English.

She does it.

Then today I send it to Shanghai.

Who translated this? They wanna know. I tell them it doesn't matter. Does it work or not?

(Cause I can't read Chinese.... I know... I'm like Johnny Cash....)

Well... it doesn't sound right.

Now granted... any copywriter - even in his own language - is used to words being changed all the time... but this process is killing me. And this literally is for three sentances....

So they change a few words... and four hours later send it back.

We record it - put it in - and its the first I hear it. And its fine. But so was the first version. But so what? I always go with the native over my own view of proper Chinese. Hell - I lose a lot of copy battles in English as well....

But that's my day. A three sentance fight.

Now I live to fight another day.

Starting Young

2007-05-22T00:07:00.000-04:00

So I'm not up for father of the year.

My wife took my son to the doctor today. A specialist.

My boy is a boy. And how. He is crazy. He is wild. He is out of control. He is 7.

A boy.

But he might also be a bit nuts. Heck - it certainly runs in the family.

Both sides.

So who is to say?

We had the meeting with his first grade teacher this year. The - "well... what do I say about your boy?" meeting. The "he could go either way" meeting. The "I don't want you to find this out later and then say no one told you this before" meeting.

So what does that mean?

I know we can over medicate in our society. Heck - we're at a point where we're giving drugs to dogs to calm them down. But there are also great advances in medicine that help people.

My wife has many issues - one being depression. When she is on medication - it is way better than when she is off. This is something that is a wonder of modern medicine and when people tell me that it is nonsense - its just cause they don't know.

I don't think medicine is for everyone. But it is for some. And it does help.

My mom tried for years to get me to take medicine for ADD or ADHD or whatever. I chose not to. Not because I didn't need it. Probably because she was insisting. Who knows. Would it help me get more done? Maybe? I don't know. But I function.

It's tougher for my son.

In the old days - we would just say he's a boy - give him a stick and tell him to go play. Come back at dinner. Can't do that now. So you go to a doctor.

The Doc sounds like a wise guy. He also sees that the kid is a boy. And this is what boy's do.

But he sees something deeper too.

He's afraid my kid is a bit victimized by his sister.

Wow.

Doesn't that just go with the turf?

I know I victimized my sister. And I had good parents. Parents who payed attention. And I still drove her crazy. Mostly for no reason. To the point of her blowing her top at me. Constantly. In front of my friends. In front of my enemies. In front of whoever.

Till she got old enough that my friends wanted to date her and told me what an ass I was.

It's tough on my kid.

He's the only boy. All of our family has girls. All the people nearby have girls. The only boys he gets to play with are younger than him. When he joins his sister and her friends - they really get mean with him. So he goes all HULK SMASH on them.

He's trying. And he's a kid. And he's 7.

And his dad is never home. So I know where the stones should be thrown. Send them all to China.

I talked to him about going to the doctor today. What he thought. How he felt. He is upset cause he is gonna start taking a very low does of Wellbutrin. And he has to swallow it. And he didn't like people saying bad stuff about him.

I told him I love him. And I'm proud of him. And that he is slowly becoming a man - and that even all the way from China I know he has a good heart and is trying to do the right thing.

Is this the right thing to give him medicine? I don't know. I really don't. But we can try it. It's not behavior altering. Its supposed to be focus enhancing. So we shall see.

I don't want to break his heart or his spirit.
Being away from this right now is breaking mine.

we are SPARTA!

2007-05-20T19:14:00.000-04:00

A general sense of looming danger....

So I have completely forgotten my blogging responsibilities. Its not that I haven't wanted to blog. Or that I haven't had anything to blog. Its just that I haven't blogged.

Why?

No real good answer.

Probably Coke. It's the only thing that's changed and it is so deliscious that it is making me forget all of my other responsibilities...

Nah.

So here's the weird thing.

Shanghai went well. Really well. Uncomfortably well. To the point that I am more nervous now that things are going well than when they were all going down the crapper.

They love the show.

And they love the new footage for the next show. We cut a teaser together of what we shot in March and they ran out of the meeting and gathered the staff to watch it. Everyone was happy.

I brought them a cut reel of some stuff about an hour long and they took lunch to watch that. Then the guy who pimp slapped me on the phone for an hour actually wrote me and told me that everything looked great - and cc'd everyone he was railing me to earlier.

So I guess I'm back to waiting for the other shoe to drop.

I have a new deadline for the new show and there is a ton of work to accomplish between now and then. Too much. While I still have this fateful week to begin it - I then get go fly home Friday - to end the three weeks I've spent here.

Next month looks worse - probably here all month - but I might get to bring out the family - which would be awesome.

Summary of other things:

Had a producer from SF here for the last three days. She's cool - but hyper organized. She left me a "to do" list. I said it was great for me - now I know which things to ignore and in what order...

SF is now actually deferring to me on creative a bit more. They saw the Shanghai reaction and are actually listening to me and letting me lead... very uncomfortable... :)

Finished Michael Chabon's "The Yiddish Policeman's Union." Great book. Fun and interesting and great characters... not entirely sure I understand the ending - but who ever understands the endings of noir stories?

Watched a ton of movies...

Afro Samurai - bloody. Crazy. Fun.
Astronaut Farmer - really enjoyed it. The Polish Brothers are really good.
Breach - another story I wouldn't normally care about made great by good writing directing and acting.
We are Marshall - cried like a baby.
Perhaps Love - Hong Kong musical with a bit of 8 1/2 thrown in. Really fun.
I'm a Cyborg, but that's OK - romantic comedy by the best Korean director ever.

And in the meantime - I plow ahead on scripts.

I feel the pressure. I see the deadline. I'm winning the race....

But I feel that damn seal breathing down my neck like nobodies business...

Gotta keep running....

Showdown

2007-05-15T17:29:00.000-04:00

I'm off to Shanghai.

For a date with destiny.

There's gonna be a gunfight....

Not really.

I just gotta keep my mouth shut and a smile on my face. Just for some reason always have trouble doing that.

I come bearing gifts. Lots of little things that we need to reach later deadlines. Lots of scripts and DVD's of footage and cuts...

But those go little to repair the anger and hurt.

Poetic... :)

Obviously I wasn't slapped around enough as a kid when all it takes is a few words to break your bones.

My wife always asks me if I'm praying. I am. I do. Just don't know if its for the right things.

So today will be interesting. First - facing the domestic flight ordeal here in China. Then - facing the domestic office ordeal there in Shanghai.

Nothing makes me want to crawl back to my edit suite in Beijing more.

Stuck in the middle

2007-05-14T19:47:00.000-04:00

Wow.

Haven't been here in a few days.

I have many issues. But for someone who speaks so off the cuff to his superiors - it's strange that I would waste hours after that analyzing everything to the point of ridiculousness.

I am alone in Beijing.

For three weeks.

I think that thought hit me hard this weekend as I was holed up in my hotel room - going through hundreds of pages of transcripts and working to get a usable script for my show.

I have just finished a week and have two more to go.

And I don't want to be here.

Nothing against China. At all. And nothing against the people I'm working with here. I love them them. Nothing against the job. While I don't love it - its good work for a good company.

It's just that I've basically spent a year away from my family. I have been on the road for a really long time. And it sucks.

On Sunday - while I was writing - I watched about 4 movies.

One was the Weatherman - which I had never seen. People really loved the script - but thought the direction was bad. I didn't think that. I just thought it should have been a little movie - but was made by big names for too much money.

But the sad thing - is that I related.

Not to all of it. But it is basically a crisis of faith for Nic Cage's character. He is at a point in his life where he is doing something he is bored with - paid entirely too much to do it - and he is separated from his family. Not by distance like me - but by divorce.

Its a good film.

Also saw We are Marshall and cried like a little school girl. What a baby.

So after the Weather man - I thought - what is wrong with me? Is this a mid-life crisis - something I've always scoffed about?

It's not that I want to change everything and do something else. I'm doing what I love - producing and directing. I'm even getting to do it in a foreign country that I love - China.

It's more that I have an incredible family that I never get to see - and all the money in the world is not worth missing them growing up.

I've been listening to SMODCAST a lot. Its a podcast by Kevin Smith. I literally snort sometimes while I'm listening. Like with snot coming out. It is the funniest, dirtiest thing.

He was talking the other day about selling out. And he said - no one but 20 somethings talk about selling out. You never hear a 40 year old guy talk about it.

Probably cause he's already done it.

Sigh.

I think I'm most likely just depressed.

This is a long haul. Three weeks gone. And now my company is arguing with me over whether or not cab fare is included in per diem. Petty. I'd just like to be home.

So instead of blogging - I've been thinking. Probably not the best thing to do.

So I'll go back to blogging.

Yesterday - I did something I haven't done in over 7 years. Whenever I find that I am too tied up in my life - I like to see if I can do something to mess with my routine. So yesterday I did that.

I drank a Coke.

I used to drink 4 or 5 Cokes a day. Especially when I was directing. Then I just went cold turkey and quit. And have never gone back.

Till yesterday.

It didn't taste as great as I remember it. But it was nice. And I'm going to do it again. Maybe even today.

So cheer up. Have a Coke and a smile...

And by retarded....

2007-05-09T13:04:00.000-04:00

I mean able to do anything in the world... (sarah silverman quote)

I am an idiot.

Not that you wouldn't know that if you come here with any regularity... but I feel the need to state the obvious every now and then.

A big idiot.

The whole point of scripts is that your characters go on a journey. On the road - they face many hardships - and are pushed beyond belief right to the edge... and then something miraculous happens.

They change.

They are not the person they were before... and the world is somehow different because of this amazing transformation.

Well. I would be a really crappy character.

Regardless of what I know or what I learn - I am like a dog to his vomit.

I don't change. I don't change. I don't change.

I see the problem coming. I hear the door open for me to step in and get in trouble. I recognize it for what it is... and I walk right through - dancing a jig on top of my common sense.

Today went well. Great VO session. Great ADR session. Everything perfect - and they actually got along with me and everything was right with the world.

Then we went to dinner. Cause I can't leave well enough alone.

They picked a Russian place. No problem there...

And then we went about talking business. And they brought up their boss. The guy who got on the phone with my company and told a bunch of lies. The guy who tried to get me fired... but didn't succeed... yet.

They said it was really all a big misunderstanding.

And here's where the door opened. If I was smart... I would have just smiled. I would have shoved another bite of salmon in my craw and gone to my happy place.

Instead.... I said...

By misunderstanding do you mean him getting on the phone with my boss and telling lies?

And they said...

Well. Lets not call it lies. Just a misunderstanding.

Oh no. There was no misunderstanding. Except for classifying it as a misunderstanding. Because it was lies.

Uncomfortable silence.

Well - they said - thats something personal. We can't let it effect our business.

Don't worry - I said - it won't effect our business. But it is personal. And I won't work with him or for him because he came after me. And my family.

And then I stand on the table - fork and knife in hand -

AND I WON'T REST TILL HE IS DEAD IN THE GROUND BY MY HAND!

.....

Ok... so the last part is false. But it might as well have been true by the look on their faces.

So the countdown to the end of my job continues...

Anybody looking for a really honest producer/director who speaks Chinese?

Middle Finger Vs World

2007-05-08T22:49:00.000-04:00

I think I'm getting paranoid.

Getting, you ask?

Work has gotten crazy again. I am back in China in the middle of my edit. Shanghai execs were to show up yesterday - but only the underling came. Good guy. Smart guy. But every time we would make a change - down to the color of a font - he was on the phone calling it in to his boss to get approval.

Tiring.

And back at home they are yelling at me for things I don't have yet.

Like a script.

If only I had more time in my day. But I think giving 12 hours a day is more than enough.

So since I last told my "peer" that I felt she was doing all she could to control me instead of help me - I have been bumped back up the ladder again to my Big Boss - who sent me an email today asking for everything that my "peer" didn't get from me.

Next week, my "peer" will be here in China - hanging out with me all week.

I've been reading this really fascinating book "Why they Kill" by Richard Rhodes.

I spent 10 years working on cop show for the Discovery Channel and filmed murders in every state except Nebraska. I felt like I had a pretty good bead on murder - but never really could get to the motivations behind things. And that was what fascinated me. While I firmly believe we all have the capacity for doing great evil - most of us have some element of control over our most base impulses.

But the book - done in coordination with an outstanding criminologist - really breaks down why people kill.

And it talks about people who are prone to violent behavior and how they read each and every situation different than those who don't.

Fascinating.

Of course if you are getting on a 14 hour flight - the last person you want to sit next to is the guy reading that book.

Back to the grind. Trying to make people happy - but it never seems to work that way... :)

Back to China

2007-05-06T09:06:00.000-04:00

Here we go again.

Another trip.

Another 3 week trip.

All I wanna do is cry.

All I should do is write.

Getting on the plane now.

See you in 14 hours.

You can't handle the truth

2007-05-05T07:42:00.000-04:00

...or "they" can't anyway.

If your company asks you how you really feel - here's some advice.

Don't tell them.

If I only I could listen.

In a great conversation yesterday - where they were reaching out to me - the disenfranchised Chinese Producer - they told me they really just wanted to help me. To support me. To enable me to do my job better.

I said "Really? Cause it seems to me you just want to put a thumb on my back and keep me down. All you want to do is control me."

Hmmm.

Anyone wanna place bets on how long I have a job for?

Super Genius!

I took my wife and dad to Spiderman 3 last night.

What happened to Spiderman? He has always been my most favorite comic character. A web slinging smart ass. And now they were bringing in Venom? And Sandman? And Gwen Stacy? Um... that's a lot of villians. And Characters. And the new Goblin?

And it seemed really long. Granted we went right at my bedtime in Beijing - but the last thing you should be feeling in a $250 million dollar summer movie is tired - no matter what time zone you're in.

Yes. There were boring parts. Yes. There were more men crying in that film that in the last 30 movies I've seen all put together. Yes - there was nothing more awkward and uncomfortable than the emo Toby Maguire. It was painful and not funny. The sequence at the jazz club felt like it was out of a Zucker Brothers movie - except that it wasn't funny.

But the action?

Um. Very nice. Just not enough of it.

And is it just me or does Spiderman have a huge double chin? Like really big! My wife tapped mine when I brought it up - but I explained to her that I'm not Spiderman.

I'm just the big middle finger.

Maybe I can weasle my way into the next movie...

Still trying....

2007-05-03T07:56:00.000-04:00

I'm hovering at the intersection of creatively bankrupt and creatively frustrating.

I sat with Ryan this week and got to go through his latest draft of his new script. It was nice - cause each draft was getting better and he was getting to focus on new stuff each time that was taking the script down the right road.

And he just got engaged to a 12 year old - so he was really happy. This time in 6 years - he will also be just like the rest of us. Old and married.

While he had that really goofy grin that comes with thinking about what he "thinks" his new life will be all about - I couldn't help but feel like that vetran cop in every cop movie ever on hearing how he is being partnered with the new kid.

I'm getting too old for this crap.

Sometimes - the daily grind of creatively going about my job in this business had been sapping all the love and joy out of actually sitting down to write. I want to write. I need to write. But I can't write.

Not because I don't have ideas. Not because I feel blocked.

Maybe because I'm lazy. Maybe because I'm undisciplined.

Mostly because I feel that dull numbing ache of wanting to not think at the end of the day. After all the notes and yelling and changing of the show on a daily basis - I want to throw in the towel and watch the Wire on dvd. I want to see excellence and revel in it rather than attempt to create something and fail.

So its back to trying.

It's easy to complain. It's easy to get down. It's easy to give in.

Sigh.

Instead I shall forge ahead. Really. This time for sure.

Starting tomorrow.

Hip Hop Hullay....

2007-05-01T09:32:00.000-04:00

My last night in Beijing I met up with Star and Chris.

Star is a fashion designer who I conscripted into our band of merry men on the last shoot. She speaks excellent English and is smart - so I got her to come in and be a translator. Now I'm trying to get her hired to help out more.

She just recently married Chris - a Canadian - although I don't hold that against him. Like most of the Canadians I have met - outside of the French Canadians - he is a smart, well mannered guy who is pretty cool. She did well for herself.

Star was designing a dress for my wife - and had it finished - so we met for drinks. Bar Blu in Beijing is where I go for quiz night on most Wednesdays - so it was an easy place to hook up. But I hadn't been to the roof - which is open in the warmer months - where you can sit outside under the stars and above most of the smoke and pollution. It was great.

Then they asked me:

Would I be interested in going to a hip hop show?

Like - A Chinese hip hop show?

Yeah.

Hell yeah, boy.

What some of you may not know is that I am a big rap fan. And Hip Hop. Most definitely R and B. But I am way down with most things having to do with Black Music. I love it. Can't get enough of it. And to have a chance to watch Chinese people interpret it?

Priceless.

When we did our first TV show here in 99 - we hung out with the Veejays from Channel V. Since we knew them - I watched a lot of the Channel. I still do. They used to have an hour a day devoted to Korean Hip Hop.

There was something strange and amazing about it. It was as if they took the whole of rap videos from here and replaced it with a glossier stranger Korean version. There wasn't much of the same spirit - as far as I could tell from something that I can't understand a word that they are saying - but the clothes and the poses were the same.

I love rap - and I don't really know why. Cause a lot of it makes me laugh?

There is angry rap. Rap with a message. Rap about money. Rap about fat butts. Just like any other music. But for some reason - rap just is more to the point. With really funny ways of talking about things. And a killer beat.

I am a huge fan of rap. So I jumped at this chance.

It really was amazing.

A tiny little smokey club. Full of people - a mix of foreigners and Chinese - all dressed in a junior high school version of what they think hip hop is. Caps twisted to the side, over sized shirts and jeans, hoochie momma chic on the ladies... it was really fascinating.

But the DJ's were pretty awesome.

Blackaliscious. Jurrasic 5. Tribe Called Quest. Dialated Peoples. Nas. All my favorites.

Then they brought out the freestylers. And they weren't as good.

But it was an exciting evening. While it is sad and pitiful to see White Guys play black - it was even more interesting to see Chinese guys play black. Not sad - just interesting.

Music is all about expression. And there is no just white or just black style of music - it is fascinating to see something taken out of its cultural context and placed in something altogether new - and not always successfully.

There were also a few standouts. The Chinese guy who looked like he wanted to be in the Strokes. The Chinese girl who looked like she wanted to be Amy Winehouse. And me - the old white guy looking like he should be somewhere else entirely.

But it was a great evening. One I won't forget. And one I would like to repeat.

Nothing Beats Family

2007-04-30T07:31:00.000-04:00

Its so good to be back.

Sleeping in my own bed. With my wife. And my dog.

Tucked the kids into bed about 12:30 last night. I think they both gained 10 pounds in the last two weeks.

When I left here - there was snow on the ground. Now its 80 degrees today.

Everyone is up and excited and ready for the day.

Remind me again why I always have to leave?

Support Group

2007-04-26T20:15:00.000-04:00

My name is Greg - and yes, I am an ugly American.

Yesterday turned into a bigger problem than was originally envisioned. But that's just getting to be par for the course for me... :)

Let's back up.

I was originally supposed to be delivering a cut of this show on May 1. Cause the first week of May in China is a big holiday and everyone goes home. Including me - thank God.

But this show was supposed to be easy.

Unfortunately - it was not. While the script was approved - everything else has been in a constant state of flux between the US and Shanghai - with yours truely, the big middle finger - caught in the crossfire.

It seemed all was good - until Wednesday.

We were having a very nice phone conference between all three parties where I was explaining that because of the enormous amount of changes - we wouldn't be delivering the show as promised - until the week after the holidays.

This seemed to be going down OK - but suddenly - my phone cut out.

When I started this job back in August last year - the office manager in SF found a phone that would work in China and was tied to my bosses credit card. Only problem was - it would go for $30 dollars of calls - then cut out unexpectedly and without warning. Then it would come back on 4-5 hours later without announcement.

As my calls have heated up this week - the phone goes out once a day - usually at the worst time possible.

Yesterday I arrived at our session to find that Shanghai is livid because of some new changes that they didn't like. What they didn't know is that those changes were requested by the OWNER OF MY COMPANY. While I was on the phone with one underling in Shanghai to explain what was going on - his boss was writing a nasty email about me making unwarrented changes and starting to wonder if I was capable of delivering a cut.

Sigh.

Then I find out that while my editor is there - the graphic artist won't be there till noon. And I only have the edit till 2. And as soon as the graphics girl arrives - she goes to lunch.

And my phone doesn't stop ringing.

Putting out fires in Shanghai. Putting out fires in the States from the fires that started in Shanghai.

Somehow in the middle of all this - I am told I don't have any editing time for Friday. We've been bumped.

I am rushing the graphics girl as hard as I can. At 1:45 - she runs to the bathroom - and we have two more graphics to do. And they are not even rendering... and she doesn't come back for 20 minutes!

Now I am eating into someone elses session. Three ganster looking guys with a huge duffel bag of tapes are sitting in the lobby starring at me like I stole their baby.

We finish the graphics by 2:30 - really making everyone mad - and then realize that the place they want the last graphic is not matching the place where it came from. They want it in a new place. But there is nothing about what goes in the place we stole it from.

It might be interesting to note here that I am completely and utterly Lifetime Movie of the week illiterate in Chinese. I can speak. But I can't read. So I am having the graphic girl read me the script section where this new graphic is supposed to go - cursing in English - watching the tears drip down the cheeks of the gansters waiting for the suite - and calling Shanghai trying to figure things out cause the show HAS. TO. BE. DONE. TODAY.

When my phone cuts out.

And that's it.

I pulled the ugly American card.

Now granted. If you told the company that you wanted the edit suite everyday all week - and they said yes - you would assume you have the edit suite everyday all week.

But, grasshopper - this is China. And you are White. And don't assume.

So I went all Alec Baldwin on his daughter on the scheduler.

Long story short - I have 4 hours today to make it right. And a guy from Shanghai is flying in to help make sure its right.

But I have this really bad ignorant white man taste in my mouth. But I do feel really connected to my ancestors in a way that can only be made possible by thousands of years of imperialism and cultural ignorance.

So I have that going for me.

I am Greg. And I am an Ugly American...

Cluster

2007-04-25T18:36:00.000-04:00

I was supposed to be finished by now.

That would be the easy way to say it.

But I'm not. I keep thinking I'm closer - but not really sure if I am or not.

Each day I make changes - and load them to an FTP site.

One group - the Chinese clients - sit in Shanghai and make notes.
One group - the American clients - sit in the States and make notes.

The next day I get the notes and try to decipher them all.

Even when - especially when - they contradict each other.

Sigh.

And then between me, the editor, the smoke artist - we try to make some sort of decisions that will get us to the next set of notes. We cut and adjust and make nice - and then we burn a dvd, convert it MPEG and then I rush back to the hotel where I upload it - hopefully beating rush hour.

We were supposed to be done by now. We're not.

But I think we're closer....?

the joy of pain

2007-04-24T19:40:00.000-04:00

This post comes out of a place of guilt.

There are only two things in Beijing that I do - besides work.

One is I usually go out to Bar Blu for quiz night. They have a three hour quiz night every Wednesday for teams and the place packs out with ex pats with nothing but time on their hands who want to get out and have an excuse to drink.

Heck - the prize is a big bottle of booze...

I am on a team with my co-worker Jade and her sister and a bunch of other revolving friends. We tied for first twice - and lost the tie breaker both times. Till last month - when we finally won - by four whole points!

I always leave before the bottle comes.

The other thing I love to do is go out with my Chinese counterpart Director Hu and play basketball on Friday nights.

Let me take a step back.

I was always the shortest kid in my class. And the youngest. I was even shorter than all the girls. The only thing I could do in sports was run. Not faster than people. Just longer. So while everyone was getting into all the different sports - I couldn't do much.

Then I discovered soccer. And I could kick with my left foot - so I was considered pretty good. All through elementary - I did OK and had something to hang my hat on - even if it was a very tiny hat to match my very tiny head.

Then we moved to Taiwan. Where everyone is good at soccer. And half my school was from Europe. And I sucked.

But a funny thing happened between my freshman and sophmore year.

I grew 8 inches.

So I took up basketball.

And I still sucked.

But I loved the game.

I was good enough to make the team my last three years of high school. But I really only got to play if we were really ahead in the last two minutes - or really behind in the last two minutes.

But I still loved the game.

In college I played intermurals. I got knocked around a lot and ended up getting both legs in a cast - at different times.

I've turned my knee.
Twisted my ankle.
Ripped my hamstring.
Taken a knee to the head resulting in 21 stitches above my eye.
Bitten through my tongue.

And in one glorious moment of playing on the pick up courts in grad school - I took a ball on the end of the thumb going for a steal. And my thumb was completely shoved inside my hand.

It was incredibly disturbing.

A couple thousand dollars and 15 stitches later - I'm almost as good as new.

In the last couple years I've slowed down a bit from playing 3 times a week. Mostly because I hurt too much the next day. But I still love the game.

Sad thing is - all the game has really given me back is injuries.

And I really am no better than when I started. Only now I'm getting worse.

But when the opportunity to play here in China presented itself - I jumped back in with both feet.

And they play crazy. Three thirty minute periods - regulation full court - no resting.

So last Friday - when I returned way too late from editing - with only minutes to go before I had to leave for basketball - I was panicing.

Somehow - I forgot to pack shorts.

It is rush hour here and to even go a mile - will take 15 minutes. There are no stores close by.

So I did the ugly American thing and went down to the hotel workout room and had to buy a pair of their crazy ugly shorts.

For $45.

I don't think I own anything past a pair of shoes for $45 - let alone a cheap ass pair of shorts.

But I love the game. And I bought the shorts.

Too bad the game just doesn't love me back...

where did the day go?

2007-04-22T19:16:00.000-04:00

Sunday.

Fun day. Nothing to do day. Play in the sun Day.

Sunday was a sadder day for me.

I hate to complain about being in China with so many things to do and see - but I spent the day locked in my room in a Veronica Mars marathon. I finished up season one in the morning - got through a good chunk of season two in the afternoon.

It was a great day out - but I didn't want to do anything. Unless it involved my family - but they are a couple thousand miles away. Would be better if Bill and John were here... but alas.

Hogan invited me out to meet a friend of his - a canadian guy who is a professor here and was apparently a famous hypnotist back home - but I didn't want to.

I left the room only to go over to a friends shop to buy a few more T-shirts, since my laundry won't be ready till Tuesday.

Two strange things from the weekend.

On my way to work on Saturday - I saw a girl lean her head outside of a bus window and puke all over the road. I quickly rolled my window up as we passed.

There is a park here near the dirt market. It is filled with old people - like in their 70s and 80s. They bring their birds out for a walk there. There are trees full of cages - covered cages, cause you wouldn't want the birds to get cold... or to see what their missing apparently. The seniors just sit around and talk while the birds stare at their coverings and wonder why they are suddenly so hot or so cold...

I got in the elevator with a guy the other day. Chinese guy. Dressed all cool. Probably in his mid forties... but a sharply dressed modern guy - even had a little soul patch.

But he had a matching mole. With a shocking amount of long grey hairs growing out of it. Like - 2 to 3 inches worth of hair. It really contrasted to his all black ensemble.

What is the deal with the mole hair? This isn't Kung Fu times anymore... I find it to be a bit ... I don't know what the right word is... Icky? I'm sure I'm just being incredibly culturally insensitive... but its kinda gross. Moles only look good on Cindy Crawford. And she has the decency to shave hers....

Back to work today. More editing on the notes from Shanghai. Nothing too serious. Actually pretty good notes. So I don't have much of a problem with them. Just have to see how long we are and if we really will be able to get everything done this week.

We shall see.

Here's another one from Pappa Hemingway:

"Tell me first what are the things, the actual, concrete things that harm a writer?"

"Politics, women, drink, money, ambition. And the lack of politics, women, drink, money and ambition," I said profoundly.

Keep on Smiling

2007-04-21T00:59:00.000-04:00

Trust me I'm trying.

There are many reasons why I have the rep I have as a big middle finger.

Most of them are totally deserved.

But I'm starting to understand more and more why I seem to threaten people.

I think it's mostly because I don't just do what someone asks me to do.

I always ask the magic question.

"WHY?"

Instead of just being subserviant and doing what I was told - I question the logic of the task. And this makes people mad.

It's no that I think I'm smarter than them - most of the time - its just that I like to think that if there is a GOOD reason for something to be done - I'll do it. If there isn't - I've got plenty of crap on my plate as it is.

Take today for instance.

I'm here in China with about 24 hours of footage for my show. That's a lot of tapes.

My American company wants copies of my tapes.

It's gonna cost a lot - not much for them - but I don't see the point. They aren't going to watch them. I had copies of my shoot from December there - and to this day only two people there had watched it - and neither of them are in positions of power.

And the tapes are all in Chinese.

No one there speaks Chinese. What is to be gained by this.

Its presented to me that if they have the footage - then they'll know how to help me when I edit. Sure. Like they're gonna dig through the footage and look to see if there is a shot I forgot about and find a place in the show to put it in.

So when I bring this up - people get upset. They agree with my logic - but they just want me to be a blind servant.

I tell them again that this is kinda silly. (Actually - I think I said "gay" which is not the PC word to use with a SF company.)

They just want me to do the work to find out the cost and then make a recommendation with the cost and they will decide.

Whatever.

I can tell you that you're stupid for free.

Hence - the middle finger.

I played basketball last night. Actually played really good. Just screwed up my knee and bit more - and had a migrane today from the fact that I didn't eat anything yesterday. So you can tell me I'm stupid for free now.

Gonna be editing straight through the weekend. No end in sight. It's great to be getting notes from a company in America and a company in Shanghai. I feel lucky and blessed.

Back at it....

Till then -- I'm just gonna keep smiling....

Slaps to the face - kicks to the groin

2007-04-19T20:32:00.000-04:00

Been reading a bit at breakfast everyday.

Been reading Ernest Hemmingway - On Writing.

Basically, its a collection of all the little tidbits he dropped on his process - in his stories, in his interviews and in his letters. Great stuff - and it beats the hell out of actually writing.

But for those of you looking for encouragement today - here's a bit from the book:

Ernest has a little conversation with a young writer. Ernest writes as "Your Correspondant" or Y.C. and addresses the you writer as "Mice."

He has just given "Mice" a list of books to read if he ever wants to fancy himself a writer.

A very exhaustive list.

A two page list. Single spaced. And he hasn't stop listing titles when Mice interrupts him-

Mice: I can't write them down that fast. How many more are there?

Y.C.: I'll give you the rest another day. There are three times that many.

Mice: Should a writer have read all of those?

YC: All those and plenty more. Otherwise, he doesn't know what he has to beat.

Mice: What do you mean "has to beat?"

YC: Listen. There is no use writing anything that has been written before unless you can beat it. What a writer in our time has to do is write what hasn't been written before or beat dead men at what they have done. The only way he can tell how he is going is to compete with dead men...

Mice: But reading all the good writers might discourage you...

YC: Then you ought to be discouraged.

How's that for a pat on the back???

Good writing friends... :)

Changing face of technology

2007-04-17T22:12:00.000-04:00

Time flies when you're working.

It seems like a thousand years ago we used to edit everything on film.

When I first started at Discovery - the other producer I worked with remembered actually taking one inch video tape and cutting it with scissors.

I joined the business at the height of the video revolution.

We were shooting beta and cutting everything in online suites.

Then non-linear arrived and changed everything.

It really is a whole new world.

The only thing that stays the same is that people still can't replace the story. Doesn't matter how you dress it up - if your story sucks - no amount of CG apes are gonna help you.

We're banging away at our show here.

Put in about 12 hours yesterday and expect to do the same today. Lots to do and lots to get done and never enough time for anything. But if it were the old days - I'd still be freaking out. Cutting and splicing and rolling trims... no thank you...

Its warm in Beijing. Like in the 70's... so it feels deliscious. Too bad I'm stuck in a tiny dirty room all day - working in the dark.

But thank God for the life of the mind... cause while it may be dark and dank in here - in my mind I'm on the beach with my kids... :)

Now all I need is a holodeck.

Continuing Education

2007-04-16T19:44:00.000-04:00

It's morning.

I actually slept last night.

Maybe my new strategy of just never sleeping is starting to pay off. I can fit into any timezone as long as I just don't sleep more than 4 hours a day.

It's fun and easy! Try it at home.

Here's what I've been thinking about on this lovely Beijing morning:

(over 60 degrees here - and I left with 3 inches of snow on the ground in Indy.)

The more I work in China - the more qualified I am to consult others on how to work in China - and I feel as if - while each time I know more and do better - I still know very little.

I'm getting more and more people coming to me and asking for help and people want me to consult on their projects - and yet I don't know if I know what to tell them.

I know more than a lot of people. I've pulled off impossible feats. But I still don't really know if my knowledge is helpful.

And it's not like its anarchy over here.

It's still production. A grip is a grip.

But it's not like any production I've ever done in the states. And each place you work - there are slight variances. But not like here.

Today we begin our edit.

Should be fun. Exciting. And definately a learning experience. Lots to do and get done.

And lots more learning to take place.

At least its never boring...

Go East, Young Man...

2007-04-15T08:32:00.000-04:00

So said the banana. And who am I to argue?

Once again, I sit at the airport - readying to make the jump.

It's only 14 hours.

I stayed up all night - trying to stay on schedule. Now I'm very very tired.

I watched another three episodes of Battlestar Galatica. Made it through Malestorm - and there are three more episodes to go. Got them all on the ipod for the trip. While I still love the show - not feeling it like I did back in Season one and two.

Caught up on Lost while I was home. And was sad to learn there has been only one episode of Heroes since I left.

Can't believe I'm going back to China. I was just in China. Now I'm back again. And again. I am going to pass 100,000 qualifying miles on United on this trip. That puts me in their 1k Club. I've got over 300,000 miles on United in the last year - but this is 100,000 miles since January.

How sad is that?

Every mile is a testament to a lost moment with my family.

Wow. Depressing.

Shouldn't seem sad all the time. Must just be the lack of sleep. I actually love China and love the people there. Just still not sure about the whole coporate world and my place in it. Been freelancing way too long and not sure if my fragile middle finger temperment is made for the corporate ladder.

But production by any other name...

Wife and kids and dog drove me over. Then followed me through the terminal from the van on the outside. My son told me he didn't want me to go. I didn't want to go either.

Company actually brought up this week that maybe it was a good idea to consider moving over there. Instead of SF. Who knows. I just know this constant back and forth and not knowing what's next is getting old.

But there is good news.

I had a big conference call with all the powers that be. 8 people on the line and I led the charge. Everything went well and I got a lot of props. Like Pavlov's dog - I salivate at any encouragement. It did buy me some space and I immediately used to to tell people at work to back off.

Seems to have worked.

So here I go again on my own.
Going down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.

But I've made up my mind...
I ain't wasting no more time...

Back to China.

Little did he know....

2007-04-15T00:10:00.000-04:00

Did you say "little did he know?" I've written papers on "little did he know." I taught an entire class on "little did he know."

I think was my longest ever holiday break from blogging in two years.
It wasn't so much a break as a crisis?
It wasn't so much a crisis as a breakdown?

Nah. Maybe it was a vacation.

Very strange week. Lots of pressure. Lots of Conference calls. Lots of fights with work. Lots of different arguments.

I don't think I won any. Didn't really lose either - except in the long term - where instead of letting people escape with their dignity - I self sabotage to the point that people want revenge on me.

The big middle finger.

I've watched Stranger than Fiction three times in the last week. It's a great movie. Clever, fresh, fun. And ultimately uplifting. Go see it.

Music?
Gym Class Heroes
Bloc Party
Bright Eyes new CD
and
Stranger than Fiction soundtrack - by Britt Daniel from Spoon - one of the best bands ever.

I've basically spend most nights up - doing nothing other than worrying. Sleep about 4 hours in the day - and try to be with my family the rest of the time.

Like a Zombie.

And now - my week is done and I gotta get back on the plane and head back to China - for two weeks of editing. Gotta deliver one show - and start the next.

And there doesn't really seem to be any end in sight.

I gotta keep going over and back through most likely the beginning of July.

And then - who knows?

I sat with Ryan this week. Went to lunch with Shawn. Reminded me what life was. Played with my kids at Tokens and Tickets. Beat my daughter at air hockey. Pod Raced with my son. Went to coffee with my wife. Human contact. Very nice.

It would be great if I could use my time over there to write.

Maybe? I'll try to.

Back to the plane.

How are you?

Must... Stop....

2007-04-10T19:56:00.000-04:00

Deja Vu.

This is a great week. Full of conference calls. Full of things I don't need to be doing. Full of people second guessing what we did.

It's all in the name of what can we do so that next time things won't be the same.

But really its all about covering ass.

When we returned from China in 99 - we had just finished the first co-production ever for a dramatic Chinese TV series. It took everything out of us and we came back looking like we were POW's - all long hair and nail and 20 pounds lighter than when we left.

Shawn and I went into a meeting and it started right in.

Not - hey, great job. Not - wow, you guys really killed yourselves. You must be tired.

Just this.

Why?

How come....?

Why didn't you....?

And now here - 8 years later - the same noise.

They say its so things can get better in the future - but that's not usually it. It's more about why did you make bad decisions.

I'm still beat up. I'm tired. And really - I shouldn't be on a call with anyone. When I don't say anything - they say I need to speak up. When I speak up - they say I sound a little too sensitive.

Exhausting.

But I am so looking forward to the seven person conference call tomorrow night. Can't wait for that round robin of abuse.

So there's that to look forward to...

Nevertheless - we press on. Whining and kicking and getting emo....

But we press on.

I need more sleep....

Back to it...

2007-04-09T07:03:00.000-04:00

Hope you had a good Easter. I know he did.

So much happens in life.

Everyday is made up of so many little stories. And you feel as if you really need to find a way to get them all down or they disappear. I like to work them into things I'm writing - or tell them again and again - cause they help connect the dots.

I'm not sleeping.

I want to - but I don't want to. I know I'm just here for a week and then I'm back to China for two. If I commit to getting back on schedule here - I'll be off there. And one week is hard to commit to when I have so much I need to do there. So I live in two worlds and can't really be a part of either.

Heartbreaking.

Yesterday - at my parent's house for Easter Dinner - we had a gathering. We usually have everyone who doesn't have someplace to go over. I think there was about 35 people there.

Someone brought orange jello. Which reminds me of a story.

In the early 90's - I got a job doing a big sales piece for a new wire service. They were going to try to be the new AP or something like that. They even secured a spot as one of 5 radio services that could handle the presidents weekly radio address.

I flew to DC and spent a week with the various reporters at the different buildings they covered. The White House. Congress. Whatever. I went and did a big press event with Clinton and lined up with the reporters on the front lawn - covering a big event. Shook hands with Jesse Jackson.

Kinda fun.

And then we went to New York.

The service had bought a huge lit up billboard in Times Square and ran their news feed on the bottom of it.

There was a guy who worked for the company and he had a small single engine plane.

You know the type.
The kind that so many people have died in.

Three people fit in it. The pilot, the cameraman and me.

We flew up to NY in the morning - shot the board in the day - and then had to wait till night to shoot it again. We didn't have anything to do while we waited.

The company that owned the sign were japanese. The guy that managed the sign was Estonian. He asked if we wanted to go to the Estonian lodge with him while we waited.

Sure. Not often one gets invited to the Estonian lodge.

It was a tiny tiny place somewhere in the city I have never found again.

We went in - and it was almost pitch black. Full of drunk old men in their 70's. And I had one of the best times of my life.

It was afternoon - but these guys came here everyday.

There was a young blond waitress in her 20's in a short skirt - and all the old guys teased her.

They proceeded to break out a bottle of vodka and sing. And tell stories. And sing some more.

My cameraman could barely walk when we left.

I don't drink. Or didn't when this happened. So I had a Coke and listened.

Our host told me how he had his first drink in this place as a boy - stealing from an abandoned glass.

How he saw a man actually drink till he passed out and fell off his barstool here - and he pointed to the very stool.

How he remembers his dad sitting him down on Christmas Eve - at this very table - and giving him an orange for Christmas - cause it was all he could afford.

And how whenever he smells oranges - he thinks of Christmas.

We all sang songs in languages I could never understand - and even danced a little in the most non-gay all male dance I have been involved in in my life.

And we learned how the Russians are all heartless bastards.

Then we shot the sign and went home.

Not before the cameraman decided - in his drunken stupor - that we should get a shot of the city as we left from the tiny plane. And proceeded to pop the canopy on the plane while we were in the air - sending my script flying out all over the city of Manhatten.

When he asked if he could fly - I decided to take a nap - cause I heard if you're relaxed when you crash - you have a better chance of surviving.

Needless to say - I made it back.

And now everytime I smell oranges - I think of the Estonian lodge.... and a guy falling off his barstool....and singing and dancing - and almost dying in a small plane above NYC.

So I'm gonna lay off the jello for a while...

Happy Easter

2007-04-08T06:29:00.000-04:00

In keeping with tradition - here's my Easter Post.

If you read here with any regularity - you see I'm a typical self absorbed selfish dork who happens to love film and the community that surrounds it. I love my friends and my family.

But I usually complain about everything else.

Can't stand most of the executives that I've worked with - excluding those who love my work - you guys are great.

Most of the time - this blog addresses all the things that tick me off and this gives me a place to vent and whine...

But Easter is a great day. A day of hope for humanity. Hope for a sinner like me.

While I would never presume to be something I am not - I certainly have no problem humbly addressing who I am.

A habitual sinner in need of grace and saving.

Every day I fall short of the standard set by God and some days I not only fall short myself - but I bring others down as well. I don't consider my situation enough. I don't reflect enough. I don't do what I should. Some days I don't even try.

But I know that 2000 years ago - someone died for me - and took my sin on himself.

And I am not worthy of it. And I don't appreciate it near enough. And sometimes I don't even say thanks.

The great thing is that God loved me while I was still an idiot.
While I was still a dork.
While I'm still a dork.
An unworthy ungrateful dork.
And no matter what nonsense I still perpetrate - I can't change his love.

Doesn't matter what we have - its not enough and will never be.

Doesn't matter where we are - its not where we want to be and never will be.

We always want more.

God forgive my foolish and unthankful heart.
On this day help me be mindful.
Help me grateful.
Help me show grace and love to others.

Thank you for your love, grace, and sacrifice.

The meaning of Victory!

2007-04-07T14:20:00.000-04:00

There are many types of Victory.

As I am still learning.

When you are freelance - you mark your victories by how well your show is received. Yes you survived production. Yes - it looks really good. Yes - people like it. And then you know you did OK when the client calls again.

Its pretty cut and dry.

When you work somewhere... well... not so much.

I remember coming back from China the first time.

We had a company foot the bill for part of our production. We were over there an ungodly amount of time and survived. We pulled off the first co-production of its kind - an unlikely feat in China. And when we got back - we were put to the fire.

Not for what we did - but how we did it.

I about lost it.

Shawn held me back.

I calmed myself down as I realized that this company really didn't care about whether or not we completed a show or whether or not the show itself was any good.

All they cared about was maintaining status quo.

And that's what I see now.

Its never about the work - but about how the work is done.

Production is a beast. Even at its best - it is a raging machine of moving parts with multiple heads threatening to go in all different directions at once - and all it takes is a banana peel to take it down. To survive you become part juggler, part engineer, part showman, and part con artist.

And I am all about process. It is easy to forget. Most people just care about the end result and don't care who they step on to get it. I believe the opposite. The process is important. But so are the end results.

Now that I'm at a company - while the results are important - what really matters most - is control.

Checking in every day with all the details of your day are way more important than what you did or what details you are reporting.

Victory is achieved by not upsetting the delicate balance. Don't rock the boat. Do as you're told and what you're told and little to nothing more. We're not so much interested in what you're doing as we are that you are telling us something.

And it's pretty sad.

Far better to raise a sword to this Monday being the same as the one before it that to make it a better one - because in making it better - we also suffer the chance that it might be a worse one.

Or something like that.

My personal Victory is measure by the fact that I returned home. That no one died on the shoot. And besides the footage being incredibly dirty - the shots looked great. My part was done to the best of my abilities - pretty much.

And while no one gives a rats ass that we did our jobs - that we did it in another culture, in another language, with entirely different ways of working and understanding and at less than a 10th of the budget - I know that my wife at least thinks I'm cool.

Or ... she used to think that. Now she just has to love me cause she's stuck with me.

I think. I hope.

So let's toast to a meaningless victory from a meaningless battle that's still being fought over meaningless terms.

FREEDOM!

Former Glory

2007-04-06T08:42:00.000-04:00

Who says White Men Can't Jump?

I finally made it home. Just two delays... but only two flights... so I'm two for two!

It's incredible to see the family again. All crazy and kooky.

Add to that my wife's family is showing up today after driving in from Virginia for the last 15 hours. They're coming with their three kids... and my mother in law.

So I'm in the basement sleeping on the couch.

Welcome home!

And it's snowed here the last two days. The entire time I'm gone - 70 degrees. I come home - 30 degrees. What's up with that?

I have one week here before I get banished back to China.

Life and death. My best friend Shawn and his wife had a baby - Sutton. Rhymes with Button and Mutton. Better than Lydia which rhymes with Clamydia. Or Delores - which rhymes with....

And Director Hu's Dad died.

I feel like I'm in the Lion King. Just can't tell if I'm Simba or Scar. More like Poomba.

So this will be my "work from home" week. Will be filled with conference calls and script writing. Or that's the idea.

But for today... it's just hanging with the family.

Cause my kids actually believe I can dunk.

It's true...

2007-04-03T22:41:00.000-04:00

Or so I'm told...

We went out for Korean BarBQ the other night.

And we had Dog.

I am the hugest dog lover in the world. If I had to kill and skin a dog - there is no way on earth I could.

But put it on a plate in front of me - with the dirty work already done....

Let him who is without sin...

We have a girl who works for us. Her name is Star and she is a fashion major. Dresses really crazy - but she is super cool. She told me the other day one of her favorite things to eat is dog meat.

Now everytime we see a puppy I ask her if she is hungry.

She just smiles.

She is making a skirt for my wife. When I told her that Star loves dog - she didn't want her dirty fingers covered in the blood of innocent puppies anywhere near anything she would put on her body.

But - like the poster says - puppies die. And if they are already dead - why not eat them?

This is my last full day in China. Lots of meetings. This morning our DP hit the road and tonight - out Art Director is gone. I am here alone.

Utterly Alone.

I have more meetings and then that's it.

As much as I love China - I surely do love my wife and kids more and don't recommend anyone being on the road for a month straight. I can't wait to be back home.

Even if it means I turn around and head right back.

But what is one to do?

Sigh.

Off to meetings.

And if you want the Chinese to stop eating dogs - stop sticking things in your....

Good Kitty Bad Kitty.....

2007-04-02T19:39:00.000-04:00

There are always two sides to every story -

And the end result to every disagreement ends the same way....

In China - the foreign devil pays.

Lao Wai is the term that we are known as. Even now. Foreign Devil. Kinda funny - kinda amusing - kinda racist in a sweet way.

Yesterday we went to the telecine. When you shoot commercials on film - you go to an expert colorist who sits with your negative and works the colors and contrast as you lay back to video.

The telecine process is one of my favorite parts of the job. You get to see the footage you shot come to life in a new way - usually before anyone else.

For the last 11 years - I always go to the same guy out in LA - Claudius. I've followed Cladius everywhere - through 7-8 different post houses. He knows my style and what I like. Everytime we shoot film - we go to Claudius.

But Claudius isn't in China.

And we are editing in China - so we telecine here.

The guy here is nice. He's been doing TC for 15 years - so he knows what he's doing.

Sort of.

As we started going though the rolls - I have never seen negative so dirty. Each roll seemed to get worse.

Kodak had just put a new lab in here... Its actually on the same grounds as our editing place. The TC guy said that a lot of the footage from Kodak came back this dirty. I couldn't believe it.

So we called the lab.

And they looked at the footage.

And they couldn't believe it either.

So they came back and said that it was the telecine. And that it must have happened there.

And the telecine guy says its the labs fault.

So we take another roll and go back to the lab. And look at it again.

And we don't see any problems.

So the answer is:

Maybe its no ones fault. Maybe its everyone's fault.

Either way - I have to pay. No one admits its their fault - and now we have to go frame by frame and clean up the dirt.

In five minutes, the TC op, my producers and the Kodak rep were arguing over how long the battery life on their computers are. We so quickly forget - and in the end - I pay.

There are lots of little conflicts like this here.

Its never really about taking responsibility - cause its all usually written off to a cultural misunderstanding. I have been in Asia for a large part of my life - and I'm not sure that I understand - even now. And I don't know how to solve it.

I love the guys I work with here. They are good guys. But there is never any fault.

Just two ways of doing things.

Good kitty. Bad Kitty.

And somewhere in the middle is the truth.

All others pay cash.

Daddy's gonna pay

2007-04-01T20:14:00.000-04:00

...For your crashed car....

We're done shooting.

The last three days were long. Not long in the sense that the hours were long - but long in the sense that they never seemed to end or go quick enough.

Normally - I love production. I live for production.

But the last three days.... not so much.

On Saturday - Director Hu didn't show up in the morning.

When I asked where he was - they told me he had to rush to the hospital. His father has been there since Chinese New Year - but he suddenly took a turn for the worst and didn't look like he would make it. Director Hu is 52. I'm not sure how old his dad is - but I can imagine what he's going through.

I took time to pray for him and his family.

His dad is still alive - and doing a bit better - but they don't have much hope.

On the crazy side - Director Hu has a guy that his job is to look after his dad full time. While in the hospital - Director Hu's dad - who is very lucid - pulled him aside and told his son that he really hates that guy who is watching him and wants him to go.

Director Hu sent the guy out to buy something.

As soon as the guy left - His dad started crashing. He got worse and worse - until the guy got back. And then he suddenly recovered. And the pattern continued all weekend.

God has a strange sense of humor.

We all feel helpless in the sight of death and suffering - and culturally - I wasn't sure what we were supposed to do - flowers? What? But we were told to do nothing - cause it didn't seem like he would make it. So I prayed. Mostly for the family.

Another thing that got me through the shoot was two massive dog beasts.

They don't treat their animals very well over here. Usually - if you see dogs - they are dirty, unfed, and chained up.

The studio has two giant dogs chained up outside in the back to keep people from stealing stuff. And when I say giant - I'm guessing the smaller of the two dogs is about 130.

They told me not to go near them cause they bite.

So of course - I go near them.

Everytime there was a break in filming - I would go out and talk to the little one. Again - little being about 130.

He would snarl and bark and froth - but I just kept talking to him in a high pitched voice - trying to calm him down.

Eventually - he would hear me coming and get all excited. But each time I got close - he would start snapping - so I stayed just out of reach of his chain.

I found a tennis ball that had been cut to be on top of a C stand - and brought it to him. I would throw it in the air - and he would catch it.

Then proceed to rip it to shreds like it was my flesh.

Eventually I could coax him to drop it and push it towards me. Day two we played this game a few times - with him dropping it closer and closer in - and me being a bit nervous to try to take it.

Yesterday - i brought him a waterbottle - since he ate the tennis ball.

We played with that a bit - until I finally got close enough to pet him. Then he loved me. He would shove his whole dirty body against me and cry as I pet him. My hands would be black from dirt when I was done - but it was worth it.

The funniest part was later - the owner came out. Saw that I loved his dogs. And he let them loose to run around a bit in the back.

The little dog - 130 - brought me a brick. I kid you not. He brough over a brick and we played fetch with a brick.

How silly is that? A freaking brick.

Welcome to China.

Today we go to the transfer. Should be a good day. Will be nice to see our footage.

I can't wait to go home - but still have 4 days. Will have been here a month - and they want me to come back for another month. Don't think I will. Or want.

But for now - I'm still cleaning up the pieces of this accident.

Tomorrow's will have to wait.

Long Walk....

2007-03-30T17:57:00.000-04:00

We have a great saying here in China.

Its called "Cha Bu Dwo..."

It means something like - "pretty much..."

It is a very handy phrase - especially for producers and directors.

As in:

Are we still within budget? Cha Bu Dwo....

Are we almost done with this set-up? Cha Bu Dwo....

Is this the same crew as last shoot? Cha Bu Dwo....

Is this shoot going to rob me of any intergrity that I have left? Cha Bu Dwo....

The reply I usually have to this remark is:

Cha hun dwo...

Which really gives you a closer very of the truth. It means something like - "not even close..."

Which really is a better aproximation of the reality of the day.

For our show - we shoot a lot of long lens. That means - the person is the foreground looks beautiful while the background gets soft and fuzzy behind them. We still see what the background is - but it is out of focus.

Director Hu said to me the other day:

Greg. We have been watching how you shoot. You build these really big sets with lots of details - and then you only shoot a little bit of them. We could really learn from you. You don't care how much cost it is to build things - you just shoot what you want - even if you're wasting a lot of money. We are really learning a lot.

And believe me - it was spoken with a lot of sincerity - since there is no sarcasm in China.

If I could have given him my truthful reply it would be something like this:

Director Hu. We have to shoot everything long lens, because it doesn't matter what we tell you or how we draw the designs for the sets - when we get here - it all looks like a junior high theater production. There is no way around the fact that the only detail that is consistant with what we asked for is the color. And sometimes even that is wrong. So the only solution is to make everything soft and out of focus so that no one knows how bad things really are.

Sigh.

And the sad thing is - we are really good friends. He is the greatest guy. We are both a bit trapped in a tight place - but I think things are always getting better and we will find ways to make it better as we go.

Till then -

How far is it to the bathroom?

It's really close...

Really????

Cha Bu Dwo....

Whacktose Intolerant

2007-03-28T22:12:00.000-04:00

Still Standing.

Yesterday was good. Nice even. Four big scenes and they all went off fine.

I did my interview and did great. No problems.

Had 50+ extras for a big scene - it was beautiful. Annie did great.

I really don't have anything to complain about. 3 big days of shooting - tons of people and tons of sets - and everything went good. A few little spats here and there - but good for the most part.

It's hard for people to understand that things can be different in a foreign country. It's hard for them to understand that just because its the way we do it - doesn't mean it's right. And because they do it differently - or have a different aesthetic - they are wrong.

That's why I bring over John and Bill. They have shot with me in China three times and know what we're up against. They understand what it takes to get stuff done here and know what we need to bring good stuff back.

If you just come over from the states and try to make things be like they are there - its a losing battle.

We have a bit of a break today as they move sets from one studio to the other. I'm going over to an editing meeting soon - then its three more days of shooting.

Ivy got home safely - thank God.

When she left - she told me her cell phone wasn't charged - so there was no way to reach her - and no way for her to call if she had trouble. I put her in a cab and then - stupidly - told the driver that she doesn't know the airport - so if he could please point her in the right direction - and that she doesn't speak Chinese - so if he wanted to abduct her and sell her into slavery - she wouldn't be able to stop him or tell anyone what was going on.

And then we saw there was an earthquake in Japan - right where she was flying to first.

Then - an hour into the shoot I noticed I had two missed calls - because I thought I had put my phone on vibrate - but instead - I turned the ringer off.

And I couldn't call the numbers back because they were from the states - almost as if she was somewhere where she could ask someone if she could borrow their cell phone for a second to call her husband only seconds before they started to harvest her organs...

Needless to say - I was happy she made it back. And not to have that hanging over my head.

So far - disater averted. Sigh. I know what I need to cheer me up...

Bootleg DVD's.

Later....

Let me out.

2007-03-27T18:44:00.000-04:00

Does this not look like Puss in Boots in Shrek when he does his begging face?

Yesterday is in the past.

It went well. Especially compared to Day One - which went OK to not OK - depending.

Annie was tired and a bit grumpy yesterday - but was professional as always. She soldiered on through all the copy and did great at the other two set ups.

My knee is holding out - but I still have four more days to see if it can make it all the way.

John, my DP, is doing good - but even he grew a bit frustrated yesterday with the changes.

Bill - the art director - is trying to hang in there. He is sickened by all things celebrity and really can barely stand to be on set with them. Or anyone else for that matter. Maybe just can't stand me... I can understand that...

Ivy left today. She stayed up all night, packing and repacking - and cutting an article out of every newspaper that's come to our room since I first got here to make a scrapbook for my dad...

I loved having her here and the last two weeks went so fast... She is incredible. It was so nice to have her on set. I can't remember the last time she was there when I was working - except for when she'd be acting or modeling.

In a great reversal- Ting was sitting with me going over my way of asking questions for Annie's interview in Chinese. I've been a bit sensitive about my language abilities since my character assasination of a couple weeks ago.

I was kind of trying to duck out of doing the interview - and my SF producer went a bit crazy - telling me I had to do it. I've been doing interviews for 10 years - thousands - but talking specifics about skin care in Chinese is not my thing - and I thought one of my Chinese partners might do a better job.

But SF producer insisted - and so I was sitting with Ting going over how I would ask the questions and if it sounded right. She was very encouraging and had some nice things to say and I got a little choked up.

Must be all the dust here.

Just one more day and we are done with Annie. Then - only three more days to go. Then- only two sets of shows to cut.

Then - who knows.

One day at a time.

Brown-nosing

2007-03-26T18:12:00.000-04:00

Ah... the life of a big director/producer...

I would love to tell you that like all the big guys - I come to the set, sit back, relax at the monitor with a cup of coffee and watch the action unfold in front of me whilst giving orders that are followed to the T.

In truth - I spend my day a lot more like that hippo.

I find that people are at their worst when acting out of insecurity.

I am not immune to this syndrome.

I don't want to say I was a raging idiot yesterday - but I did have a couple moments.

When you are the guy in charge - it really means you serve everyone else. And on a film set - even the lowliest position can ruin an entire day by forgetting one tiny thing.

You take what you do to another culture and you run into a whole slew of other issues as well. I spend all my time trying to speak two languages, interpret for others, keep my star happy, think about schedule, convince my SF producer that this is how things work in China... blah blah blah.

We had four set ups yesterday.

The first one went OK. We had to get some distance on the background because we had a pretty bold print on the wall. I tried to break it up - but the only pictures we had were from a 70's rec room. They weren't Dog's playing poker - but they would have fit in fine right next to that. So we had to rearrange the the whole thing - and by that time - we were sort of lit into a corner.

By the time Annie came out - it wasn't where I wanted it- but we were already getting a bit behind schedule. Oh yeah - another problem. No AD. Just me. So I get to do both jobs.

And my art director Bill makes a bunch of lists of what to get - and inevitably - they don't get anything on his list - which makes him sad - and me sadder - so that adds up.

We somehow make it through the first set up - and get to the second.

And the second almost kills us.

For some reason - my SF producer doesn't like the background. At the time - she was killing me - cause she knew something was wrong - but she just didn't know what. John, my DP was killing me - cause I kept warning him about this set and that it would be tough - but he wasn't figuring it out. The wardrobe was killing me - because, despite what I asked for- there were no outfits that worked on this set.

It all conspired to kill me. And you all know that it's all about me.

We fell further and further behind - until we were almost an hour and a half back.

I was five minutes from killiing the set entirely.

And then - suddenly it worked. And the sun came back out and the birds starting singing - and I had to kiss a lot of butt and we all settled down and got into a groove.

The last two sets moved along swimmingly and suddenly - all was right with the world.

We are shooting in a giant soundstage that we have 7 standing sets in - taking up a lot of space. It is a ton of work and I spend a lot of time running back and forth between places - trying to make sure we keep everyone going.

I go get Annie when its time to shoot.

I go get the producer when I need something.

I go get my computer when there is a script problem...

Anyways. Somehow I tweaked my knee yesterday - and I'm in a lot of pain. Last night it was getting pretty bad. Today - Its still no good. But we have a big day.

Lots of action.

We need to kick some butt and make it go well.

Here's hoping....

Watch me while I do the hippo.....

Off to the races

2007-03-25T17:32:00.000-04:00

So this is day one.

We spent the morning at the Great Wall yesterday - doing at least one touristy thing before Ivy leaves. She takes off Wednesday morning - having been here a total of two weeks and a day. Man. It is and was incredible. We haven't been together this much since before the kids. While I love the kids... I highly recommend spending time with your wife.

The Great Wall is... well... Great... I guess. You walk a lot. Uphill - then down hill. And some of the steepest steps ever. The place we went is an hour plus outside of Beijing and is the most touristy of the Wall sites. Most of it has been rebuilt and probably all the remains of the original is the location.

Crazy thing is - the wall was originally over 3400 miles long. That's all of America long. How silly is that?

Ivy was so happy to be outside and in such a good mood she was acting crazy all day. Making jokes. Posing Ting in weird pictures. I swear she must have shot at least 60 pictures. Victoria said - wow... you wife is kind of a ham. Anyone who knows Ivy would never - ever describe her that way - so that give you an idea of the type of mood she was in.

We had a nice time.

Afterwards - it was back to work as we hit the studio and saw the shape of the sets.

Everything is still coming along - but I can still see that glimmer of panic in Victoria's eyes as she looks at our "junior high school production." It's hard to go from the big budget world of US commercials to the tightly restricted budget world of China. But in the end - our stuff will look hot.

I hope.

I think.

We shall see.

She give me enough anxiety that I woke up at 2 today.

We are doing our prelight this morning - so we leave here at 8 for a 9:00 call at the studio - and Annie doesn't arrive till 11 to be ready for a 1:00 start time. And then we shoot till 11 tonight - probably not leaving till midnight and getting home about 1. So it's gonna be long.

But it should be good.

I hope.

I think.

We shall see.

Gonna be burning lots of film today. Lots and lots of it... :)

Wish me luck.

Just got an email from the guy who tried to ruin me a couple weeks ago. He was wishing me luck with the shoot.

Thankfully - he has a meeting in the States and can't be here.

But he will be missed.

.....:)

Zacchaeus was a wee little man

2007-03-24T19:21:00.000-04:00

A wee little man was he. He climbed up in the sycamore tree....

That is the last shot from the aborted concert. I promise.

Yesterday we sat with Annie to go over the last things for the shoot.

She had her own version of the concert.

She said there was at least 10,000 people there.
She said two people fell out of trees and one fell out of the second story of the department store. Everyone survived.
She was told she was not allowed to talk to the crowd because they might riot.
(they did anyways)
She was told not to dance "too Sexy" or the crowd would riot.
(whoops)
She was told she would not be given a real microphone because past celebrities have stolen them.

I like the last one best... :)

And here's where I find things interesting.

Annie is really sweet. We sat for a couple hours yesterday - and finally connected. Since I'm going to be directing her for the next three days - there needs to be some sort of understanding.

But here's the funny thing.

We live in a celebrity obsessed world. And because of that - celebrities control the cards. Annie has been in this business since she was 16 and knows how to play things. She can manipulate a situation perfectly so that there is no question that she will get her way.

Bill was so disgusted that he just got up and walked out. He couldn't take it anymore.

But what do you do?

Celebrities live in a little bubble surrounded by people who tell them exactly what they want to hear at all times so that they can keep their cushy jobs.

There was a great episode on 30 Rock where Tracy Morgan thought he was getting a ton of money from one of those Nigerian banking scams. He decided to add another member to his posse. So they get the kid who plays the page. This kid proceeds to tell Tracy the truth about everything - even that he repeats the same jokes all the time. The kid kills him at Xbox. Tracy freaks out - cause he realizes that the other guys have been lying to him all the time.

After a couple days - he realizes he prefers the lies.

And we prefer the lie too. We want our celebrities to be cool. To be better than us. To be nicer than us. To adopt more children than us. We want someone to idolize and put on a pedastal.

I love music - and a few years ago - I realized its best never to read about the people who's music you really love - cause inevitablly you'll be severely dissappointed and then you'll never enjoy their songs the same way.

And really there's no way this cycle will stop. We need them to make our projects higher profile - and they need us to keep them in the limelight.

My film had a greenlight for two years waiting for our stars to open up their schedule. They were already commited. They gave me 4 different start dates - and finally they took a different film with a budget 10 times mine. And as soon as the stars were gone - so was my greenlight.

I waited for two years and was left with nothing to show for it.

4 months and a new agent later - one of the stars called me again to set the film up - after destroying my life -and bankrupting my savings - all based on his promises. And guess what?

Like a dog returns to his vomit... I said sure - let's try again.

That's the nature of celebrity. You hate them - but you need them.

Case in point:

In an hour and a half - Annie convinced us all that she can't wait to film - but that we should change every days schedule and get rid of all the wardrobe that we had so far and start over.

And we went away smiling thinking she was sweet.

That's the genius of celebrity, my friends.

Riot continues

2007-03-23T18:43:00.000-04:00

This was taken when right before things got crazy. One second later and the gates lifted up and John thought he might die. But he didn't....

We just opened the curtains and the sun is shining through the fog for the first time in two weeks.

Its almost like Beijing is the sister city to San Francisco - except that instead of fog - our fog is pollution....So maybe our sister city is LA - but even in LA the smog burns off in the morning. Here - the pollution rides overhead like a cancer all day everyday...

Our visibility today is almost 5 blocks - where normally its 2. Ivy is running around taking pictures out the window of our hotel like crazy.

The weather here has been beautiful this last week. And by beautiful - I mean anything above 50. Just being outside and not feeling like you are walking in an ice cube is so nice and lifts my spirits.

We have two days before the big shoot.

There is a ton of things I have to do that are not about the shoot - but are shoot related. We are editing an interim show between the all new show I'm doing and the last one that aired here in Decemeber. We are taking a lot of pictures of different people that I have to organize. I have to be working on the new script - and manage my team.

Today we go over to the big star's hotel.

She doesn't like any of the wardrobe we picked so far. She said she doesn't like any of last years clothes. Director Hu said that she only likes next years clothes - the ones that haven't come out yet.

We are going to go through her stuff and our stuff and see what we have together and if its enough to make everything work. But dealing with celebrities is like dealing with children. I told Bill the other day its a devil's bargin. You are using them to have their fame rub off on your product and they are using you to get everything they can and then some. It's an endless cycle and really no way to break it...

We head out to the studio later. We have 6 sets in the process of being built. We want to get out there today to make sure they are proceeding without going in the wrong direction. Then tomorrow we can make sure we are on schedule.

So time to jump in I guess. No rest for the wicked in China. Even on Saturday...